It is well with my soul

I got up this Saturday morning and began to think about what I would write this weekend. It has been one of those periods where there has been so much sadness from suicides, accidental overdoses, and unexpected losses. The family from my home town for whom I asked for prayers last week did lose their son this week. Through Facebook, I got to see an outpouring of love that is almost indescribable. I can’t imagine what this actually felt like in the community given how touching it was from afar. It occurred to me that God was wrapping this family in his loving arms through his own children. How moving it must have been for that community to grieve, love and support each other, and cling to faith and prayer openly. What got demonstrated in different ways was there was more to this story than the death of this precious son. This child left not only an imprint on this community in his life and but now in his death. These grieving teenagers and their families have been forever impacted by the recognition that life is fleeting, there is strength in the bond of community, and faith brings hope and peace in the midst of the most difficult of circumstances. The truth is we all learn those lessons ultimately through our difficulties and tragedies not during times of prosperity. During the storms is when it gets seared into how we live our lives going forward. God redeems our tragedies in miraculous ways but ways we may not even ever see. But boy is that hopeful and healing! And, it brings peace out of the chaos.

So, this concept of peace has been on my mind. I was thinking about whether I should write about it this week. Then I got a precious note from a friend entitled Searching for Peace. That is it! God may not speak audibly but he does speak to our hearts and reinforces and directs our paths through our circumstances or through others. It is peace that I so desire. It is not happiness although that would be great. But, it is more than that- It is deeper and not contingent on circumstances or others. The feeling of happiness comes and goes. I yearn for the serenity that comes from a core faith that God is in control and even the bad can be redeemed. It is definitely a “soul thing.”

I have a favorite hymn- “It is Well With my Soul”. Just singing it brings tears to my eyes every single time. It touches me to the core- to my soul. The story of the writer, Horatio Spafford, is one of pain and grief. He lived in the latter part of the 1800s and first lost a son to Scarlet Fever. He was ruined financially when the Great Chicago Fire took place. While dealing with his business interests, he sent his wife with his four daughters on a ship to Europe. That ship sank and only his wife survived. On his way via ship to be with his grieving wife, he passed the area where his daughters perished and he wrote the words to this hymn. If you don’t know this hymn, please google it and listen. It will touch you. It is such an incredible expression of faith. I will quote a few verses that speak so beautifully to what could only be God-given peace in the middle of such tragedy.

“When peace like a river, attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend
Even so, it is well with my soul.

After confirming that it was peace I would write about today, I went to my normal Saturday morning Alanon meeting and the topic was serenity. There may be a technical difference but for me it was basically the same. And as usual, I walked away from that meeting with great wisdom around this topic so I thought I would share. The first is the concept of acceptance and surrender. That doesn’t mean to give up. It does meant to ”accept the things that I cannot change” and turn the rest over to God. I have actually started a “Lay it on the altar” journal. If there is something that I am worried about but cannot change, I write in this journal with space to come back later and document how God worked in the situation. There is not peace when we fight against something we have absolutely no control over. The concept of openness was also described as picturing ourselves with hands and arms opened and letting the power and the peace of God flow through rather than closing ourselves off. This also means honoring our feelings. You can grieve and still feel a sense of peace that God is at work. And lastly, there is a story in motion. A story of God’s miraculous provision was shared and the comment about how a circumstance does not have to be the end of the story. So, when we are faced with a difficulty, we can rest in the fact that there is more to the story. There is an ordained story and it is still unfolding.

I have seen tangible evidence of that this week in the life of the Wilbank’s family. Now this kind of peace in this kind of tragedy seems unattainable. The world view doesn’t support attainment of real peace. My feeling is the world view gets focused on personal achievement of happiness. If you are financially successful, then that should bring happiness. And it might for a time but it is not sustainable. Ask those that lost pensions and other financial resources in 2007 and 2008. The more you get done or acquire, the happier you are. I don’t know about you but we have evolved to such a pace it seems impossible to remain in the present and feel at peace. There is always another commitment to get to and an inability to do it all weighs heavy. It certainly doesn’t yield peace. And all that stuff, I can’t wait to get rid of it. It is a burden to me not a source of peace. One of my favorite verses is in John 14 as Christ’s encourages the disciples in anticipation of his betrayal and sacrifice on the cross. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let you hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” That is the peace that I desire. And, that peace is more than happiness. It is a deep abiding faith that speaks to my soul no matter the crashing waves or the darkness that comes. It is peace that also allows me to be present and see God’s hand and hear his voice. It is an assurance that enables me to say “It is well with my soul”.

I’ll leave you with a prayer that I wrote as a part of my Alanon work focused on turning my will and my life over to God.

Today, I acknowledge that I have focused on controlling my circumstances more than my soul perspective. I ask, Lord, that you will open my eyes to your plan for me and my hands to receive and give in love according to that plan. I ask that you will direct my feet to the path that you have ordained. I turn my circumstances over to you. I trust your strength and power. I honor the pain but choose your peace instead of suffering. And, I desire to exist in the knowledge and reality of your Love. Let your will be done.

And I run thanking God for his promise of a Peace that transcends all understanding!