Here we are on the cusp of a new year, a new decade. Time to set a new focus. A new opportunity to grow. A time of hope and renewal. And yet, there is always this period of time between Christmas and New Years that I feel a little lost. Maybe it’s sadness. Some overwhelming sense of loss of time or even a little regret. This year has been no different.
I know God made me a person of words. Those words start as an unending stream of thoughts which lead to a myriad of feelings. Those personality tests focused on strengths reinforce that I am a collector of ideas but then need to weave those thoughts into a deeper understanding, a vision or strategy. I have to connect the ideas to something meaningful. That meaning connects to my faith, how I live my life and how I engage with those in my life. And so I write. I share my journey, what I am learning, in case it is helpful to others on their journey. And probably more importantly, I share because I have come to know that God is leading me on a journey to learn to trust him, to know him, and reflect his character back to those in my life.
Last year, I wrote a post about my focus for 2019. My goal was to be intentional about a change in perspective through:
* Being present to what God is doing in my life
* Accepting the peace found through the Spirit
* Claiming the power of God
* Pursuing God’s purpose for my life
The truth is I will carry those same areas of focus into 2020. I am not done with them and probably will never be. I had a lot to be thankful for over the last year. I spent special time with family and friends. I focused on my health. I learned from people in my community. I wrote. And I have reached out to support others in their journeys through coaching and a new Facebook group page for women. I am pursuing a new purpose in this season of life. I have seen God move this year in my life and the lives of others.
But even with all that I have to be grateful for, I have struggled to find words to describe how I want to pursue hope and joy in the coming year. Tonight though, I believe God is taking me further on a journey of growth and preparation. Some divine interactions- a radio program, an emotional personal exchange, some wise advice, and a book are catalysts for a new perspective. I began to connect the dots. To see meaning in those thoughts.
You see there is one place that I have failed to truly trust God. One place where my beliefs were being spoken but not being lived out. One place where I more often lived in fear rather than trust. A place like that for all of us is a place of burden and weariness. It is a place of heart brokenness and can cloud our hope. A place that we never feel like we are quite enough and yet we often cling to our supposed control. We strive to handle and refuse to relinquish the outcome. Or, at least that is my story. And I guess, God felt it was time for a little remedial training.
The reason I couldn’t find the words for my hope in 2020 was the burden I am carrying. Burdens come in a variety of forms. For me it is fear for my children. It has been my inability to release ones I love to God fully. I have continued to try to respond to them in the “right” way lecturing at times rather than voicing love and encouragement. And sometimes, if I am really honest, I have felt resentment or anger for the heartache that I am experiencing in response to their life struggles. That in and of itself is a burden.
What I believe is that the hills and valleys, the joys and tears, and the desert times are all sacred journeys between us and God. It is a sacred unveiling of God’s character, of how he created us and our purpose in this world. It is hard to pursue growth and experience hope when carrying burdens we were never meant to carry.
For me, it’s about releasing my loved ones to God. Honoring their sacred journey with God. I can’t lead that journey but I can enter into it through prayer. I need to find a way to love them and let God assume the burden of the pain and struggles. He has promised them plans to prosper and give hope and a future. He is the one revealing himself and guiding them along the journey. It is his role not mine.
He has also promised that when we are burdened and weary, he will give us rest. His yoke is easy and his burden light. In that, his Spirit offers freedom. And in that freedom, we are open to pursue who God is and what he has called us to do. Releasing the burden is the change in perspective that I want to pursue. I know that hope will be found in the freedom that comes from that. So, that is my vision for 2020.
If you are burdened by something, I hope that you find some encouragement in this to trade that burden for freedom. I wish you peace and joy and purpose in the coming year. With God all things are possible. Let’s live in that promise daily!
