Hope found in a commitment to love one another!

I had the privilege of going to the place where I grew up and attend the wedding of the daughter of some of my closest friends. It was a beautiful and celebratory event. Weddings are always special, hopeful times. For me, this one was especially meaningful. Maybe it was because it was the first wedding of a child of one of my closest friends. Perhaps it was because I was surrounded by some of my oldest friends and many others who were a part of the fabric of my “growing up” years. Or, maybe it was the faces of the bride and groom who clearly adored each other or the faces of the parents who beamed with pride and joy for these precious young adults. I am sure it was in part all of that. But, I think a big part of what impacted my heart was the hopefulness that came from their commitment of love for one another in such a public way. A commitment that then changes your life from that day forward.

During the wedding, they used a beautiful set of verses from the book of Colossians. I am paraphrasing but the verses remind us that we are chosen by God for this life. Therefore, we are called to be compassionate, kind, humble, even-tempered, quick to forgive, to demonstrate a quiet strength and discipline and wrap it all in love. There we all were witnessing these two young, precious people make this commitment to one another. They promised to love one another, forgive one another, and support one another in the good times and the bad times. And we cheered them on quietly in our hearts and through prayers. And then, we cheered loudly through clapping as they were presented for the first time as husband and wife. We celebrated as a community of people who love this couple and this family. We committed to support their vows to this union. And yes, today is a new day in their lives and the lives of their families- a day with the reality that a new chapter has begun.

As I sit on the plane headed home, I am reflecting on this weekend. The minister reminded us that a marriage is a symbol of Christ’s relationship with the Church. We are meant to express love and commitment regardless of circumstances, the good and the bad times, in wealth and poverty, and in sickness and in health. It is a relationship intended to endure through love and in support of the challenges that life inevitably brings. The wedding is an overt expression of this commitment both for the husband and wife but also a community who is called to love and support this couple.

I began to think of my larger community. Not only had I gotten to be a part of this special occasion but I was able to spend time with some of my oldest friends- those I grew up from elementary school through high school, those who were so special to me in my college years, and others who enriched my life at different times throughout all of those years. They were a group of people for whom God chose to go on their own life journeys as well as be a part of mine. I am struck by all that is happening in their lives, the beginning and endings. In the swirl of this life, the good and the bad are all present. There are weddings and divorces, addiction and recovery, illness and healing, clarity and confusion, times of stress and times of rest. There are newly emptied “nests” that bring sadness and also new opportunities. There is loneliness and joy. There is grief and peace. I see it all and feel it all. It is present in my life, too.

There are people in my life who are waking up today with tremendous burdens. We live in a world with great challenges. It can be so hard at times. And often, people suffer their burdens in silence. I know from experience, when we choose to suffer in silence, we give so much power to the burden. Putting a voice to the pain frees us up to share the burden with God and with those in our lives who are there to support us- our community. In this wedding, we were asked to formally acknowledge that we would support this couple in their relationships in any way that we could through prayer, words, and deeds. There is a purpose in this commitment that we live in relationship. God provides for us through others. He strengthens us through others. He loves us through others. And it is our greatest call to love one another.

So if a marriage is a symbol of the relationship of Christ’s love for his church, the community called to love a newly married couple is also a symbol of Christ’s love for his children. We are not meant to survive this earth on our own. We are called to be in relationship and to provide that support. What if we used a version of vows or personal commitment to drive our interactions differently with not only our spouses but those people whom God has placed in our lives or will place in our path today? What if we prayed today to reflect those attributes like forgiveness, compassion, and love? What if we put voice to our pain and reached out for the power found in a loving, supportive relationship? What if we acknowledged with great humility that our lives are not perfect and we aren’t sure how to take the next step forward? What if we opened our hearts to someone else’s struggles and demonstrated love without expectation? Finally, what if we looked for something to be grateful for even in the midst of the storm?

What would the possibilities be? Well, maybe a glimmer of hope would shine through… That same hope we see as a newly married couple walks down the aisle headed to a new phase of life. Maybe, the weight of our sorrow and burdens would lesson when we give voice to it rather than try to hide it. Maybe, if we learned to give and receive love in its many forms, we would experience God’s presence, His Peace, and His Hope.

I am a bit overwhelmed today about just how blessed I have been. Yes, I have had some difficult seasons of my journey. But, I have been surrounded by people all my life who love me and who I love right back. They are my community. There have been times when I hid my burdens, though. I suffered in silence. As I look back, those are some of my darkest days. In the recent past, I am trying to take the power from my burdens by putting that voice to the sorrow or fear. My community has been there cheering me on and encouraging me in those new steps forward much like we cheered the bride and groom as they stepped forward. My desire is to provide insight into my challenges and healing through this blog in order to transform the power of addiction into the power of healing. Hopefully it provides some form of support for others dealing with similar struggles. It is certainly healing me.

Just like in wedding vows, we are called to live out our lives with love, compassion, forgiveness regardless of our circumstances. For the loved one of a person who suffers from addiction, our lives cannot be contingent on our loved one’s sobriety. God wants a life for us that is more than a reaction to life circumstances but is rooted in the peace of a much stronger foundation, a truth to hang on to. He has the gift of Peace that is not reliant on our circumstances. It is not easy to live our lives focused on the greater truth rather than the circumstances that surround us. But one thing that I have learned is that there is no peace without it. And, it must be done in loving relationship with God and through love poured out through one another.

So, if anyone is willing to join me, I intend to write a set of vows or really a commitment to how I will live each day. I will answer those questions above. I will put a voice to the burden. And, I will write those vows with an intention to commit myself to that life each day. I want the joy of walking down the aisle into the rest of my life lived out one day at a time. If you are willing to do the same, I encourage you to share that with God and someone in your life- your support, your community. Put a voice to your burden, reach out for support, commit to loving others, and commit to loving yourself. If for some reason, you cannot take that step to reach out to your closest community, there are professionals and support groups with whom you can share your burden. For that matter, contact me. Just reach out to someone. Don’t suffer in silence. Let someone pray for you, clap for you and encourage you as you head down your aisle into your next step in life. There will be a time that you can clap and encourage someone else. And yes, today can be a new day in your life or in the lives your family and friends- a day with a hope and a reality that a new chapter has begun.

Love and congratulations to my sweet friends as their family expands into this new beginning. You know how important you are to me!

Today, I run with hope and a great love for my friends, my community!