For those of you who may not have followed blog, the very first entry addressed the purpose of this blog. It starts with a commitment to run a 1000 miles during a 12 month period in honor of the journey of battling my son’s addiction. My son battles each day to maintain his sobriety. My journey is about learning to detach with love, to feel compassion but not enable, and to shift my need to control his life to reliance on God to walk that path with him just as I know he walks with me. Believe me not one of those is easy for a mother. My battle at some point every day is to redirect my fears about his life to the focus on what God is doing in my life and faith that He is working in the life of my son. It takes practice. It takes grasping for the bigger picture- God’s plan. It takes courage to step through fear to a place of faith and reliance. And, it takes courage to run the race set before us.
I had the opportunity to talk to a friend of mine this week who completed the Boston Marathon on Monday. We talked about all the training and preparation it took. It was grueling. This was his first marathon and he worked diligently to prepare so that he could qualify and finish this race. The race was hard. The beginning apparently goes downhill which you would think would be easy but you have to pace yourself even if it would be easier to go at top speed- Easier initially but not smart if you want to finish the race. He finished at a decent time but the end was very difficult for him. He was dehydrated, hot, sore, and barely able to get beyond the finish line to the place where he signed his paperwork and picked up his bag.
He also told me that he was about halfway through when he realized his focus was managing his race time. Instead, he needed to take it all in- the people, the cheers, the runners, and the support that was everywhere. The reality was that he was there for a more important reason. He was running in honor of his brother, sister-in-law and her sister who were all injured when the first bomb went off last year on Boylston Street. He was running with a much higher calling than just meeting his goal times. His whole family had returned including the three that were injured. His injured family members have spent the last year on a journey of recovery and their race is not yet finished. This act of courage was about facing their fears. There was more to the story than the bombers ever intended. They wanted to silence. But, this is not to be the case. This country, this city, and these runners were not to be silenced and defined by this act of evil. They faced their fears as a family by going back to the place where there was so much harm and moved forward by living life in that moment.
It takes courage to face your fears. Maybe your fears are tied to the past or being afraid of being “found out”. But God is willing to take the harms, the regret, the guilt and replace it with grace and love. In 2 Corinthians, we are told that God’s grace is sufficient for us and his power is perfected in our weakness. I have to remind myself of this constantly that God works miracles out of disasters. He loves my son and saved him by grace on this earth and forevermore. He loves all his children and sheds grace on us all each and every day. So, through faith in God’s Grace, we can be courageous!
It takes courage to face your enemies. Enemies can be harmful in very different ways. They can treat you with cruelty and disrespect. Sometimes, it’s more subtle than that but regardless of the degree, it can silence us or we lose focus on the truth of who we are. The enemy may not be a person but a disease like addiction that wants to steal your life. In Genesis, when Joseph saw his brothers again after they had sold him into slavery, he told them, “Do not be afraid. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…” I know that God works through the pain to bring about a bigger story. And anything is possible with God… Through faith in God’s Plan, we can be courageous!
Lastly, it takes courage to face your circumstances. There are times when life is upside down. If you focus on the circumstance, you will stay in a place of fear. You have to refocus and know that God is in all and right by your side. The hardest week of my life was letting my son live in the car when his addiction had taken control the last time. It was gut-wrenching. I remember lying on the floor, sobbing, and asking God to be with my son and to give me some peace. He was with my son every step of the way. It was the beginning of this recovery. In Deuteronomy, the Lord tells Joshua to be strong and courageous….for the Lord goes with you and will be with you, he will never leave you or forsake you.” Through faith in God’s Presence, we can be courageous!
This week has been full of examples of stepping forth courageously. From my friend and the many runners and victims who came back to Boston, to another friend that shared his story of addiction with the men of his church, and even to my need to speak the truth to someone I love dearly, I know God is in it all. There is grace available this moment and every one going forward. God’s plan can take the enemy's plan and turn it for good. We just celebrated his death and resurrection. There is no better assurance than that. And lastly, he walks with us every day through the Holy Spirit. We never have to face our circumstances alone. Through faith, WE CAN BE COURAGEOUS!
So today, in honor of my son and those fighting addiction, those who ran or went back to Boston, and those of you who are fighting some other battle, I run in honor of your courage!
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