Path to 60: Following God into the unknown

 There are three messages that I often embed in my writing…

• We are created for a unique purpose…Our journeys are the process through which our purpose on this earth is fulfilled 
• Gods walks that journey in and through us. He exists within, behind, before and to the side
• Our journeys are sacred connected to God and set aside for his purposes 

The other thing embedded in all of these is how God uses our circumstances, our friends, even our bodies and that quiet voice within to strengthen us and urge us forward and teach us about ourselves and our creator. Yesterday, it was the quiet voice that began to speak to me in an unexpected way teaching me an unexpected truth. A truth about my transforming relationship with God. It happened as some simple words from Sunday’s sermon caught hold and the voice of God illuminated an insight about my relationship with God throughout my life.

As a child, I was in church all the time. I went to elementary school there, Wednesday night church and often twice on Sundays. I learned a lot about God. I was taught the stories of the Bible. Seeds were planted and I believed. I always have. At least as a child and through my young adult years, I understood at a very basic level the breadth of God. The holiness of who he is and the gift found in the cross. He felt big, merciful  and honestly distant and separate. What I didn’t grasp was that he wanted a personal relationship with me or even the breadth of his love for me, the individual. And yet, I knew my faith was sacred. I knew the character of God from behind at his roots with humankind. I learned about him from the history we have documented through the stories of the Bible. Looking backwards was the genesis of my faith. Those years were sacred. 

As an adult, I followed the plan. I finished college, got married, started working, and began a family. I followed the natural steps at least as I believed was the normal expectation. And then life threw some warning signs and on same days and even seasons real roadblocks came hard. I had time on the mountaintop, things to celebrate, blessings and gifts. But I also faced much to my surprise deep disappointments and pain from broken relationships, a sense of inadequacy to care for my children and fear for our well-being as our family fractured. So, those seeds planted in my early years began to sprout. I had to be brought to the end of my abilities, my strength, my sense of worth before I had no place but to turn to God. It was at those times, I learned reliance. I sought comfort. I began to understand that not only was he present in the heights, the very places I learned gratitude and experienced feelings of happiness and

of deep joy. But he was also in the depths of despair. There, I experienced his unconditional love. I was now engaged in a personal relationship with God and could see his grace shed on me. I looked to my side and grabbed hold of the relationship. He became close and real in the seasons of life- the complicated and simple, the dark and the light, and the tears and laughter. It was with him, I learned to navigate all of those.

Here I am approaching 60. It’s not so much the number but a time of shifts- shifting relationships and priorities. Everywhere I look, it seems there is change on the horizon. The change isn’t fully clear. And so, I am looking within. Listening to the Spirit as I feel the urge to move forward. Unmet dreams have resurfaced. A desire to not react to life but proactively pursue my purpose. I am paying attention to my body’s response. I am learning to be still and allow the Spirit to speak to me. I’ve come to understand that I have lived a lifetime in fight or flight. Reacting to the world’s plan, others’ choices, and a life of responsibilities. And, my body is saying enough. And yet the future seems unclear, unknown in many ways.

So, yesterday some simple words about people following Jesus into Palm Sunday stirred me. They knew he was special. He was a healer. Some even thought he was the Messiah. While he came in on a donkey, it wasn’t the triumphal entry of a king taking his rightful place would make, they followed. They had no idea the sacrifice and the gift of forgiveness that was to come. The glory to be revealed was not understood. And yet, they followed Jesus into the unknown. The eyes of Jesus were also on God’s plan. He understood the sacrifice and yet he followed. There is such hope in that. The act of following rooted in trust that something quite special and life changing was on the horizon. I thought to myself here I am at a season where I am being called forward. Why would I not simply follow? It is still easier said than done. The unknown feels risky. But everything that God has taught me says he is worthy to be trusted. 

Yes, I can look back and understand his character. I could look to the side and see his presence. And I can look within and hear his voice calling me to follow. He is leading me into my future, the continued steps in the evolution of my purpose. So, if I believe what I say I believe- that we are created uniquely for a purpose set aside by God and that he has walked the path with me always sustaining and preparing me for that very purpose, what is keeping me from following him into the unknown? I am not sure I can answer but to say that I believe God is now teaching me to follow his lead. In the past, he has allowed some doors to be closed, blessed my choices in many ways and sustained me as I worked to sustain others. He stayed by my side. Just maybe, now he is saying just keep your eyes on me and follow. I have new things for which you have been set aside to do. That is real trust and faith lived out.

There is beauty to be found in the unknown. The sacred journey continues…

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