It’s hard to believe it’s been two months since the last post and now two months closer to this next big birthday. A birthday symbolic of entering a new season, certainly a new decade. The truth is I entered this new season well before this birthday will come. I have lived in anticipation or perhaps dread for awhile. You see, the changes have been underway for some time. Children building independent lives. Loved ones experiencing health challenges. My own loss of confidence in my physical appearance or sense of physical strength. Even my sense of purpose has felt diminished and unclear.
The narrative playing in my head was driven out of a sense of loss and a lack of clarity. I began to wrestle with fear. Those messages began to replay over and over. I heard author, Jon Acuff, speak recently about “broken soundtracks”. He was actually talking about teenagers and negative self-talk. His advice to confront these negative messages was to ask the following questions:
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it helpful?
I have read similar approaches to evaluating how we talk to one another. I have even challenged myself before on the the truth of my own narrative. Maybe even asked myself if certain self-talk was helpful or rather was it creating fear or distraction. But I don’t think I have been asking myself if I am treating myself kindly through my own self narrative. Maybe it’s being a mother or father, a wife or husband or even a boss. We have spent so much time encouraging others through change, we haven’t focused on the same for ourselves.
So, here I am in the midst of change, approaching a new season- shifting roles, physical aging, redefining my purpose. And in order to combat my own subtle messaging focused on loss or fear, I have to remind myself of what I truly believe. I believe that life is sacred. Our journeys are sacred also. I believe we are creations of God with a purpose here in this world. That alone is the basis of our worth. Lastly, I believe we are both loved and loveable.
And yet, sometimes my inner dialogue doesn’t reinforce those beliefs. Fear sneaks in and those messages undermine my fundamental beliefs. That self-imposed deception casts a shadow that can hide the hope that exists in the opportunity a new season brings. We don’t focus on the gift of time to explore who we are as God’s creation and the depth of God’s love found in pursuit of our purpose here on earth. We may not recognize the impact that can be created through our lives found in the wisdom gained and the knowledge of God’s character experienced through our journey. It is why each season is sacred. It is why we need to replace those “broken soundtracks”.
I have been working with a personal coach on a project that I would like to take on. At some point early in that conversation, I questioned whether I had anything to contribute of value to others. She said simply, “you have your wisdom”. A lifetime of experiences creates insight and empathy. Wisdom to be shared. Since that time, what my narrative has switched to is what I have to give which is my energy, my time, and my wisdom found through experiences. So, when negative thoughts rise to the surface and especially to those of us approaching a new season, a big birthday, ask yourself is it true? Does it reflect what you believe? Are you so caught in the loss of one role, that you cannot see the opportunities that can be found in a new or evolving role. Is it helpful? Does it hold you back or propel you forward towards your purpose in this season. Finally, is it kind? Do you treat yourself with grace and love? Do you reinforce your worth through the quiet messages you tell yourself?
Yes, our lives are changing. We will experience some loss and maybe even grief. And yet, I believe with all my heart that God is calling us forward. He is calling us towards our purpose which is a journey not a destination. Our purpose doesn’t slam shut at 60. Our depth becomes our compelling beauty. The internal beauty can outshine the external changes. And as long as we still have breath, we are still on that journey. We have precious time, energy and wisdom to contribute. There will be opportunities to be blessed and to bless. Through thoughtful evaluation, prayers, or meditation, we can recognize those broken soundtracks and replace them with messages of love, worth, faith and hope. We can grow forward. We evolve our purpose and still have valuable impact in the lives around us. That is not contingent on any one role other than perhaps being a child of God. And, we can experience God more fully and live our lives reflecting that back to those who surround us.
We are on a sacred journey… So, let our soundtracks reflect that!
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