I sent a quick text to a friend yesterday out of concern and frustration on a particular issue with one of my children. The message was “Once again, I feel ill-equipped to handle this…” This has been a phrase that I have repeated over the last few years as I have dealt with my son’s addiction. I have found myself in that frame of mind more so than the years before addiction. Even when my kids had their various health issues, I had a plan with the Doctor and we made steps towards health. Of course, my son’s treatment for his lung issues ended up being the catalyst for his battle with addiction. So, even there, my tidy plan of attack had unanticipated outcomes. I really wasn’t equipped to see what could come from his treatment plan.
Later yesterday afternoon, after doing a deep clean in my daughter’s room in preparation for her return from camp, I wanted her to feel welcomed home and to know how special she is. So, I put some fresh flowers and wrote a welcome home card. And in that card, I reinforced how much she was missed and what a special part of the family and as a person she is. Then I reminded her of the verses, Psalm 139: 13, 14, 16, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well…All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
I do remember those adolescent days when it is so easy to question how special you really are. For some reason, It seems to be easier to focus on areas that you believe you don’t measure up to like being funny enough, skinny enough, athletic enough, pretty enough, smart enough and on and on. I want my daughter and all of my children to know that their real value. That is their value as a child of God not based on some definition that the world around them reinforces. The world’s view is deceptive from retouched photos in magazines to promoting products that make your life easier or better to valuing personal happiness over and above other reflections of character or lessons. The world’s view says perfection is power and anything less is weak.
If that were truth, why do we feel more inspired when we hear stories of perseverance and how people managed through struggle than some story about someone who has achieved “success” without any significant obstacle to overcome? If our personal happiness is more important than an “other-oriented” sacrificial spirit, why does doing something for others so often give us more joy than the effort or money expended or even the impact to the person receiving? Why do those people who are transparent build trust and deeper relationships than those who tell you only what represents them in the best light? And lastly, why when we look back over a very difficult time, are we often more apt to say that we grew as a person more than the times when things came easily. The reality is the world’s view is deceptive and doesn’t really value things such as the importance of struggle in our development, grace and love that is expressed outward, the value of the whole person, and a faith in things unseen. It plants ideas in our heads that we often wrestle with internally. It focuses our thoughts on some set of deficits or weakness and can absolutely damage our emotional well-being. It is does not bring light into our lives. But, we were created in the image of God so truth, mercy, grace and sacrificial love resonate in our soul. That is why what the world reinforces can leave us empty while the antithesis can fill our spirits.
As a parent of a child struggling with addiction, it is hard to operate in this world especially early on. You walk up to conversation and parents love to tout all the really good stuff that is happening with their kids. If your child’s life has been active addiction, there is often not a lot of good stuff going on. Somehow, talking about angry communications of the disease or desperate acts like stealing money from people they love doesn’t flow well with descriptions of National Honor Society participation and making the Soccer Challenge Team. Those of you who are parents of struggling teenagers know exactly what I am talking about here. Those parents are worried about how much homework is being given in an AP class and the stress for their child. I was worried about whether my child would be arrested or even worse die from his disease. The disease is destructive not only to the addict but also those who love the addict. It can separate us from the world around us. I know I found that it was hard to go to church, school events, etc. I did my best to avoid questions or deflect an answer with some silly response like, “well, my son’s a little behind on his college schedule. You know sometimes boys take a little longer to come around…” And, often, I would do whatever I could to politely excuse myself from the situation. I got really good at it. It was hard. My heart was breaking and I felt guilt for my perceived inadequacies as a parent. Their child was thriving. Why not mine?
But, over the last three years, both my son and I have wrestled this in our individual recovery journeys. I have better learned to battle my fears and to understand that his life will be different than I pictured. But the real truth was that it never really was my life story to write. This is a story of God and my son, his child- “All his days were ordained before one of them came to be”. God’s will is better than one I could design anyway. His has an eternal and perfect view. I have to accept that and trust it. I also have to accept that truth for me as well. I have learned so much more about the disease and have such compassion for the struggle. I feel great love when I see my son’s strength as he deals with his life circumstances. And sometimes, it is actually in his weakness that I see his strength. The days when the gravity of his life weighs heavy and he still takes one more step forward. He stays sober one more day. I see courage as he allows me to tell parts of his story in this blog. He is focused on truth. That is real strength and is exactly what God intended. He tells us in II Corinthians that in our weakness is when God’s power is made perfect and we become strong. “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
So, today I may “feel” ill-equipped or inadequate but I need to remember the same message that I gave to my daughter is true for me too. I am a child of God and wonderfully made. And even more than that, I am wonderfully made for the plan God has for my life. That plan is my journey. I am not working my way to get to the plan. I am living out his plan. Feelings are natural but they are not the truth. But, they can point us to the truth which is God is in control. His plan is perfect and when we don’t feel strong, HE IS. And, when we don’t feel able, HE CAN. So, God doesn’t want us to hang on to our feelings of fears, guilt, shame, and inadequacy. He can use them, however, to send us straight back to him. And through faith, despite our feelings, he can build our relationship with him and teach us to trust in his Truth. .. To create strength where there is weakness… To reflect his power regardless of our circumstances. We all were fearfully and wonderfully created for that.
I acknowledge some days are very hard. I wish I could have learned much of the same in a different way. But, I have found hope that joy can still exist even when there are challenges. We can see God’s hand at work in our lives and in those we love. We can practice looking for it by praying that our eyes will be opened to see it. That is actually most often my prayer for people who are in the midst of struggle that they will feel the presence of God and see his hand in action.
So today, I may be ill-prepared to handle certain things. But the good news is- MY GOD IS FULLY PREPARED. So, through loving the unlovable, honoring our journey no matter what, being authentic and relying on our faith in God is light in this world. We are in the process of being perfected through our journeys. We are being loved and empowered uniquely through our Creator as his child. So, wherever you journey takes you even if painful at times, that knowledge when fully trusted is enough. I am still working on learning to fully trust- one day at a time!
And, I will run today with the hope and knowledge that God created me perfectly for just this journey.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Simply Weary
My message today is a short and heavy one. I am simply weary.
Have you had those weeks when it seems every area is in some form of chaos? It hasn’t been chaos that is solely comprised of bad things. There has been a mix of gifts in with the challenges. Let me first acknowledge that in the end, I know it is all a gift whether or not it feels like it. And, it doesn’t feel like it much right at this moment.
Work has been incredibly stressful and will continue for a couple of months. My summer… So, much for having some relaxing time during time off before school. I am, however, grateful for a good job that allows for Young Life camps, college, etc. There is just so much that conflicts for me. I want to do a good job, manage my responsibilities and my family needs me. I know parents can relate to those moments that you feel unprepared or inadequate to care for those who have been placed in your life. And, how easy it is at that time, to fail to take care of you. And somehow, even in the limited time, I need to care for myself. I am weary.
My oldest has a new summer job that requires long hours and an early morning start. It is hard work 10-12 hours a day. Hard work is good but the transportation system doesn’t work well to get him to his job at 6:00 am and presents challenges to getting to his meetings in the evenings on the days when they don’t finish until 6:30. So, we agreed to allow him to use a car for next couple of months. Yesterday he left his house at 5:30 am to get to the Mega Bus and ride home four hours to Charlotte. I picked him up and he left 15 minutes after we got home to drive the four hours back to Atlanta to get to his second job by 4:00. He is working hard to be financially independent and do all that he needs to do to support his recovery. He is grateful for the job and happy to be financially independent. But, when I saw him, he was definitely tired. And I felt weary and worried.
Over the past few months, I have been wrestling with the separation that will occur in a month as my younger son goes off to college. We have a little mini practice session as he leaves to go to work crew at a Young Life Camp in the NC Mountains for 3 weeks. Unfortunately, he broke his hand last week, had surgery on Friday and still went yesterday to camp. He was committed to being a part of this experience. And I am truly grateful that his heart is so inclined. As I met with the camp EMT and we discussed his post-op requirements, the reality of how difficult the first half of camp weighed heavy on my mind. How will he ice his hand routinely? Will he manage his meds well? Who will help him get his bandages wrapped for showers? Of course, he will have to handle things like these at college so it is time to let go a little of my mothering role and let him assume his adult role. Fly little bird even if your Mom isn’t quite ready… Leaving him and driving the three hours back was hard. I left weary and concerned.
My sweet baby girl is also headed off today to a week at Young Life Camp in GA. She is very independent. She got all her stuff together with very little help from me. She worked until 9:00 last night and came home and finished last minute packing. All she needed for me to do was shift a load of clothes into the dryer. She even arranged a ride with a friend in the neighborhood which made me sad. I wanted to be at the buses and watch them leave. And yet, I am proud that she can handle things so well. And, I love that she is off for a great week with friends and to explore her faith. But, I am not quite ready for this little bird to fly away so easily. It occurred to me last night that my baby is going to separate from me earlier and easier than my boys did. As I got up early with her and watched her load into her ride, I felt weary and sad.
I sat in my bed last night just thinking about all that had happened in the past few days. How was I going to move beyond this weariness? I got a call from my oldest. He had just heard that an older man whom he met in treatment and cared about had committed suicide. How do you process that? My son said to me that his friend who had a successful business that he enjoyed, a beautiful home, and a wife he loved, could not stay sober. Then he said to me that people who think that addiction is just a lack of self-control rather than a disease should know his friend’s story. He loved his life outside of his alcoholism but struggled in his recovery battle. My son acknowledged that his friend had not been able to grasp his spiritual connection in his recovery work. The disease has to be tackled on all fronts- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Without faith, how do you have hope? Without hope, how can you be anything but weary with this life? Surely, to take one’s own life, the level of hopelessness and weariness must just be overwhelming. And as I sat there grieving for this man and how much pain as come into my son’s life tied to addiction, a verse came to mind that I sent him last year. Psalms 34: 4-7, “I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; He saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and He delivers them.”
I love this verse. I sought, He answered, He delivered, I called, He heard, He saved… Faces are not covered with shame but radiance….
And so, I will employ the “first things first” approach that Alanon speaks of. For me that is turning my burdens over to God. So, as I acknowledge my weariness, I will seek God. I have been down on my knees this morning. I will trust his promises to hear, to answer and to deliver. I will wait on him to renew my strength and transform this weariness to peace. And, I will take some time today to rest and to focus on the many blessings especially my four children. I found a poem that I wrote for them for Valentines 2010 that I will leave with you. Just reading it, I feel the transformation beginning. God is so gracious!
And I will run today with God’s strength not my own…
A Mother’s Love
A child of God; a blessing given
A mother’s love; a bond in living
A baby’s smile; a toddler’s beam
A wave of emotions; a mother’s dream
Your precious hands; your beautiful eyes
Your warmest hugs; your sweet goodbyes
Days in school; much knowledge gained
Life lessons learned; both happiness and pain
Our time too short; much more to do
But God knows best; his love is true
Time will tell what life will hold
No matter the path, a plan unfolds
God’s grace and mercy; our journeys shared
Our faith in God; our lives are spared
My days are richer; for all that you are
The happiness we’ve shared as bright as the stars
So, how to describe my love for you
Except to say God’s love renewed
For in his plan; he gave us one another
And he shows you his love through the heart of this mother
A child of God; a blessing given
This mother’s love; a bond in living
Have you had those weeks when it seems every area is in some form of chaos? It hasn’t been chaos that is solely comprised of bad things. There has been a mix of gifts in with the challenges. Let me first acknowledge that in the end, I know it is all a gift whether or not it feels like it. And, it doesn’t feel like it much right at this moment.
Work has been incredibly stressful and will continue for a couple of months. My summer… So, much for having some relaxing time during time off before school. I am, however, grateful for a good job that allows for Young Life camps, college, etc. There is just so much that conflicts for me. I want to do a good job, manage my responsibilities and my family needs me. I know parents can relate to those moments that you feel unprepared or inadequate to care for those who have been placed in your life. And, how easy it is at that time, to fail to take care of you. And somehow, even in the limited time, I need to care for myself. I am weary.
My oldest has a new summer job that requires long hours and an early morning start. It is hard work 10-12 hours a day. Hard work is good but the transportation system doesn’t work well to get him to his job at 6:00 am and presents challenges to getting to his meetings in the evenings on the days when they don’t finish until 6:30. So, we agreed to allow him to use a car for next couple of months. Yesterday he left his house at 5:30 am to get to the Mega Bus and ride home four hours to Charlotte. I picked him up and he left 15 minutes after we got home to drive the four hours back to Atlanta to get to his second job by 4:00. He is working hard to be financially independent and do all that he needs to do to support his recovery. He is grateful for the job and happy to be financially independent. But, when I saw him, he was definitely tired. And I felt weary and worried.
Over the past few months, I have been wrestling with the separation that will occur in a month as my younger son goes off to college. We have a little mini practice session as he leaves to go to work crew at a Young Life Camp in the NC Mountains for 3 weeks. Unfortunately, he broke his hand last week, had surgery on Friday and still went yesterday to camp. He was committed to being a part of this experience. And I am truly grateful that his heart is so inclined. As I met with the camp EMT and we discussed his post-op requirements, the reality of how difficult the first half of camp weighed heavy on my mind. How will he ice his hand routinely? Will he manage his meds well? Who will help him get his bandages wrapped for showers? Of course, he will have to handle things like these at college so it is time to let go a little of my mothering role and let him assume his adult role. Fly little bird even if your Mom isn’t quite ready… Leaving him and driving the three hours back was hard. I left weary and concerned.
My sweet baby girl is also headed off today to a week at Young Life Camp in GA. She is very independent. She got all her stuff together with very little help from me. She worked until 9:00 last night and came home and finished last minute packing. All she needed for me to do was shift a load of clothes into the dryer. She even arranged a ride with a friend in the neighborhood which made me sad. I wanted to be at the buses and watch them leave. And yet, I am proud that she can handle things so well. And, I love that she is off for a great week with friends and to explore her faith. But, I am not quite ready for this little bird to fly away so easily. It occurred to me last night that my baby is going to separate from me earlier and easier than my boys did. As I got up early with her and watched her load into her ride, I felt weary and sad.
I sat in my bed last night just thinking about all that had happened in the past few days. How was I going to move beyond this weariness? I got a call from my oldest. He had just heard that an older man whom he met in treatment and cared about had committed suicide. How do you process that? My son said to me that his friend who had a successful business that he enjoyed, a beautiful home, and a wife he loved, could not stay sober. Then he said to me that people who think that addiction is just a lack of self-control rather than a disease should know his friend’s story. He loved his life outside of his alcoholism but struggled in his recovery battle. My son acknowledged that his friend had not been able to grasp his spiritual connection in his recovery work. The disease has to be tackled on all fronts- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Without faith, how do you have hope? Without hope, how can you be anything but weary with this life? Surely, to take one’s own life, the level of hopelessness and weariness must just be overwhelming. And as I sat there grieving for this man and how much pain as come into my son’s life tied to addiction, a verse came to mind that I sent him last year. Psalms 34: 4-7, “I sought the Lord and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; He saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and He delivers them.”
I love this verse. I sought, He answered, He delivered, I called, He heard, He saved… Faces are not covered with shame but radiance….
And so, I will employ the “first things first” approach that Alanon speaks of. For me that is turning my burdens over to God. So, as I acknowledge my weariness, I will seek God. I have been down on my knees this morning. I will trust his promises to hear, to answer and to deliver. I will wait on him to renew my strength and transform this weariness to peace. And, I will take some time today to rest and to focus on the many blessings especially my four children. I found a poem that I wrote for them for Valentines 2010 that I will leave with you. Just reading it, I feel the transformation beginning. God is so gracious!
And I will run today with God’s strength not my own…
A Mother’s Love
A child of God; a blessing given
A mother’s love; a bond in living
A baby’s smile; a toddler’s beam
A wave of emotions; a mother’s dream
Your precious hands; your beautiful eyes
Your warmest hugs; your sweet goodbyes
Days in school; much knowledge gained
Life lessons learned; both happiness and pain
Our time too short; much more to do
But God knows best; his love is true
Time will tell what life will hold
No matter the path, a plan unfolds
God’s grace and mercy; our journeys shared
Our faith in God; our lives are spared
My days are richer; for all that you are
The happiness we’ve shared as bright as the stars
So, how to describe my love for you
Except to say God’s love renewed
For in his plan; he gave us one another
And he shows you his love through the heart of this mother
A child of God; a blessing given
This mother’s love; a bond in living
Sunday, July 6, 2014
God's peace- our true freedom...
My very first blog entry described where I was emotionally and mentally about five months ago in dealing with my son’s addiction and our individual recoveries. It was a crossroads for me. I was burdened by fear and yearned for peace. I was a slave to my circumstances and emotions in many ways. One of the outcomes that I hoped for was not only growth in my perspective but understanding and compassion for the struggles that my son endures in this process. As I run and blog, I have learned a lot. My commitment is to write every week which I have generally adhered to. In order to do that, I have to be very present in what is going on around me and within me. Some topic will start to resonate for me during the week and I begin to take notes, do research and pray. From there, the words flow and it is a salve to my soul. I am also very humbled by how many people are reading it each week. I hope it provides some encouragement and hope or at least gives you something to think about with respect to your life or those around you.
I believe in my blog profile, I also said that I would not live out what I am learning consistently or articulate my thoughts perfectly. And, this is one of those weeks that my heart and head are full of thoughts and feelings. I will do my best to express what is stirring within me this week. It really started with thinking about celebrating the Fourth of July and this concept of Freedom. One definition of freedom is a political right. We are at such odds in this country about the parameters of political rights that people are incredibly burdened and becoming unable to have a peaceful exchange with one another. So much so, I saw a Facebook post on the 4th reminding her “friends” that we are all Americans and to please put aside political differences for one day in order to celebrate our country. Politics and freedom are not peaceful topics right now….But beyond that, I was struck by how much negative swirl is going on around me and how heavy I was feeling.
Another definition of freedom is to be free of constraint, liberated or released from slavery. I began to think about all that was going on. I was definitely feeling burdened by responsibilities, concerned about some things going on in our country, fearful of sending another child off to college to be confronted headlong by life, frustrated by the increasing threat of drugs on our children and saddened by the struggles of some of my friends. The question for me is how I stay present and yet not be undone by all the pain and challenge that is everywhere I look.
I had a conversation with my oldest about his 4th of July last night. I think holidays are hard for those in recovery. Although, he had an invitation to a gathering from someone in his AA home group, he was still faced with other young people who can live life free and unconstrained by addiction. They can choose to have a beer and choose to stop. They can go to different places without the fear of an obsession taking over. They can build relationships without the concern that the relationship will jeopardize their sobriety. Although he has had some real blessings recently in terms of a job and the ability to become more financially independent, the reality of continuing to dig his way out of the hole dug by his active addiction left him feeling constrained by his circumstances. And, he sounded lonely as he talked about wanting to build relationships that will last beyond his time in the sober living house. We had a good conversation but my heart ached for my son. As I closed my eyes, I wanted him to feel freedom despite his addiction. I wanted peace to replace his loneliness. And for that matter, I crave that same peace personally. The peace that transcends human understanding. The peace that is present regardless of circumstances. And the peace that would allow me to stay present and engaged with all the challenges and pain surrounding me and not be undone.
Incredibly, peace was then the topic of our sermon at church this morning. So, I had no choice but to write about it today. I came home and went through all the verses that were shared in our sermon and wrote them all down. The following verses and themes struck my heart:
First, I must BELIEVE that God is the source of true peace. In 1Cor 14:33, we are told that “God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” Christ says in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that you may have peace…But take heart, I have overcome the world.” The peace that I crave is not found in this world. The world is filled with pain and trouble and is not the source of peace but of disorder. That disorder can bring about negative emotions like sadness and fear for me. So, I must believe that God is the source of peace in order to be liberated from the circumstances or emotions that constrain me. And, if I first believe, then I can TRUST. And trust can then replace my fears. Philippians 4:6,7 “Do not be anxious about anything…present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds…” We have peace available which God wants us to have and to protect us from our fear and worry through that peace. That same verse 6 gives us specific direction on how to present our requests – “but in everything, by prayer and petition, and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” and then the peace of God will guard your heart. A spirit of THANKFULNESS is connected with experiencing peace. Gratitude lists is an approach and way of life really reinforced in Alanon. When we open our eyes and our hearts to our blessings, our perspective changes. We see God’s provision even in the chaos of difficult circumstances. In Colossians 3:15, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
That same verse in Colossians not only tells us to be thankful but says we were called to peace. We must willingly RECEIVE peace. The first part of that verse tells us to let the peace of Christ rule in our lives. In John 14:27, Christ says, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives…” How often do I choose to focus my eyes on the circumstances right in from of me rather than in faith receive what God has promised me- Peace? Unfortunately, it is far too often. And finally, we are called to REFLECT peace in this world. Through the Spirit, we receive inward peace which then allows us to project that peace outward. In Romans, 14:19, it says, “let us make every effort do to what leads to peace…” We are told that we will have trouble on this earth. What a gift to others to reflect the peace of God to them despite what is happening in our lives or in theirs. We are God’s instrument of peace on this earth. And we can be used to reflect a peace that does transcend human understanding.
My prayer today for my son is that he feels God’s presence and receives God’s peace despite his addiction, his current circumstances, and the challenges of recovery or his emotions. I also have on my mind several families who have experienced the overdose of a young adult over the weekend. It seems impossible to have peace in the midst of that kind of pain. But, my prayer for them is that they also will feel the peace that is not of this world but only God-given. And, may we all experience true freedom-God’s peace that allows us to live our lives out of richness , depth and joy rather than the burden, constraint, and slavery of this world.
I leave you with the final greeting of Paul to the Thessalonians. “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”
And I run in honor of God’s peace- our true freedom!
I believe in my blog profile, I also said that I would not live out what I am learning consistently or articulate my thoughts perfectly. And, this is one of those weeks that my heart and head are full of thoughts and feelings. I will do my best to express what is stirring within me this week. It really started with thinking about celebrating the Fourth of July and this concept of Freedom. One definition of freedom is a political right. We are at such odds in this country about the parameters of political rights that people are incredibly burdened and becoming unable to have a peaceful exchange with one another. So much so, I saw a Facebook post on the 4th reminding her “friends” that we are all Americans and to please put aside political differences for one day in order to celebrate our country. Politics and freedom are not peaceful topics right now….But beyond that, I was struck by how much negative swirl is going on around me and how heavy I was feeling.
Another definition of freedom is to be free of constraint, liberated or released from slavery. I began to think about all that was going on. I was definitely feeling burdened by responsibilities, concerned about some things going on in our country, fearful of sending another child off to college to be confronted headlong by life, frustrated by the increasing threat of drugs on our children and saddened by the struggles of some of my friends. The question for me is how I stay present and yet not be undone by all the pain and challenge that is everywhere I look.
I had a conversation with my oldest about his 4th of July last night. I think holidays are hard for those in recovery. Although, he had an invitation to a gathering from someone in his AA home group, he was still faced with other young people who can live life free and unconstrained by addiction. They can choose to have a beer and choose to stop. They can go to different places without the fear of an obsession taking over. They can build relationships without the concern that the relationship will jeopardize their sobriety. Although he has had some real blessings recently in terms of a job and the ability to become more financially independent, the reality of continuing to dig his way out of the hole dug by his active addiction left him feeling constrained by his circumstances. And, he sounded lonely as he talked about wanting to build relationships that will last beyond his time in the sober living house. We had a good conversation but my heart ached for my son. As I closed my eyes, I wanted him to feel freedom despite his addiction. I wanted peace to replace his loneliness. And for that matter, I crave that same peace personally. The peace that transcends human understanding. The peace that is present regardless of circumstances. And the peace that would allow me to stay present and engaged with all the challenges and pain surrounding me and not be undone.
Incredibly, peace was then the topic of our sermon at church this morning. So, I had no choice but to write about it today. I came home and went through all the verses that were shared in our sermon and wrote them all down. The following verses and themes struck my heart:
First, I must BELIEVE that God is the source of true peace. In 1Cor 14:33, we are told that “God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” Christ says in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that you may have peace…But take heart, I have overcome the world.” The peace that I crave is not found in this world. The world is filled with pain and trouble and is not the source of peace but of disorder. That disorder can bring about negative emotions like sadness and fear for me. So, I must believe that God is the source of peace in order to be liberated from the circumstances or emotions that constrain me. And, if I first believe, then I can TRUST. And trust can then replace my fears. Philippians 4:6,7 “Do not be anxious about anything…present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds…” We have peace available which God wants us to have and to protect us from our fear and worry through that peace. That same verse 6 gives us specific direction on how to present our requests – “but in everything, by prayer and petition, and with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” and then the peace of God will guard your heart. A spirit of THANKFULNESS is connected with experiencing peace. Gratitude lists is an approach and way of life really reinforced in Alanon. When we open our eyes and our hearts to our blessings, our perspective changes. We see God’s provision even in the chaos of difficult circumstances. In Colossians 3:15, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members you were called to peace. And be thankful.”
That same verse in Colossians not only tells us to be thankful but says we were called to peace. We must willingly RECEIVE peace. The first part of that verse tells us to let the peace of Christ rule in our lives. In John 14:27, Christ says, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives…” How often do I choose to focus my eyes on the circumstances right in from of me rather than in faith receive what God has promised me- Peace? Unfortunately, it is far too often. And finally, we are called to REFLECT peace in this world. Through the Spirit, we receive inward peace which then allows us to project that peace outward. In Romans, 14:19, it says, “let us make every effort do to what leads to peace…” We are told that we will have trouble on this earth. What a gift to others to reflect the peace of God to them despite what is happening in our lives or in theirs. We are God’s instrument of peace on this earth. And we can be used to reflect a peace that does transcend human understanding.
My prayer today for my son is that he feels God’s presence and receives God’s peace despite his addiction, his current circumstances, and the challenges of recovery or his emotions. I also have on my mind several families who have experienced the overdose of a young adult over the weekend. It seems impossible to have peace in the midst of that kind of pain. But, my prayer for them is that they also will feel the peace that is not of this world but only God-given. And, may we all experience true freedom-God’s peace that allows us to live our lives out of richness , depth and joy rather than the burden, constraint, and slavery of this world.
I leave you with the final greeting of Paul to the Thessalonians. “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”
And I run in honor of God’s peace- our true freedom!
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