Gone too soon...

I have a friend who is adopting a sweet baby girl. It is a new beginning, a new life and a new family formed. In celebration for her role as a mother, we were gathering some “words of wisdom” to share with her. One of the things I often say to young mothers is to remember that it is all a phase, just a point in time. If you get so focused on the sleepless nights, terrible two’s, moody pre-teens, you will not only wear yourself out but miss the blessings that occur at the same time. And if you don’t appreciate the good phases and stay really present in those times, the cuddles with a baby who is not yet mobile, the robust hugs of a 6 year old, the moments when a teenager opens up while driving to the next event will pass quickly. Those special moments of life gone too soon.

I once drove home from Florida after a trip with my friends. It was a wonderful trip that ended in a extended journey home that included sun, storms, and sunsets. I hated to leave the beach that day but feeling blessed to have been with my friends. But during the trip home , as I left Florida and moved into Alabama, a dangerous front moved in with tornado warnings, wind, and rain. In the driving rain, it was scary but I finally did pass through it. I was safe and relieved but delayed. A little while later as I approached home, because of the delay, I got to see and enjoy a beautiful sunset. It was a journey that day which really reflected life. There are times of sun and of storms, blessings and sadness, fear and relief. Things end in sunsets and they begin again in sunrises. That is life here on this earth. The truth is even in the stress of the storm, the weather rolling in was beautiful in its own way and the earth was being fed. I was tired after an extended trip but got to just enjoy the sunset as I drove home. Life has layers that stretch us as humans. Our perspective really drives our experience.

It is human nature to have a plan on how we believe things should happen. We operate with the perspective that things should come in a certain order and a certain way. Children shouldn’t pass away before their parents. Parents shouldn’t leave their children before their lives have really taken off as adults. And kind, loving, faithful people should not leave this earth in their 50s. We don’t often choose hard paths for growth, we get propelled into them. This world is a broken world full of pain,disease, and grief. Relationships break, kids struggle with addiction, and people die. The truth is we learn the most and our character gets developed through the hard times. But, boy does it come with a lot of pain…

In the past week, there have been 3 people from different areas of my life, church, work, and my neighborhood all in their 50s, who passed away. 3 in a week and 4 this year… How does that happen? Why does that happen? It doesn’t seem right. All of these people were wonderfully kind, loving people. You can read the comments that streamed in on Facebook to see what an example of love and kindness they displayed for their spouses, children, friends and others who came across their paths. A ready smile, a word of encouragement, a willingness to serve, an example of faith… children still at home, grandchildren about to be born, dreams left to experience. It’s just not time. Not on our time anyway. They are gone too soon.

I was talking to my oldest about how sad I was. He said to me if we truly knew what heaven was like, wouldn’t it be easier to celebrate a rebirth into our eternal life. Our perspective is so limited. He’s right. That’s true about all aspects of God’s power, character and love for us. I don’t know how people who cannot rely on their faith navigate struggles and tragedies. But even with faith, although I do find peace in knowing that God is still in control even with life feels just the opposite and comfort from believing that he is present in the pain, I know that my level of understanding of what that really means is still so limited. The depth of my trust is therefore limited. One of the comments passed along about one of my friends as a favorite quote was “you can’t trust someone you don’t know”. In this time of sadness, I am propelled to grow in trust more by knowing the breadth and depth of God’s love and his character better. I am compelled to pursue God more.

In the funeral services of one, the minister used the parable of the Good Samaritan as a basis for the message. When Christ was asked by a spiritual leader, “what must I do to inherent eternal life.” He answered “Love your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and, love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus went on to describe the concept of loving your neighbor. He talked about a man beaten and left for dead by the side of the road. Both a priest and a Levite passed by the man and did nothing to help. The Samaritan who represented a group of people who were despised, considered impure and treated as such stopped, took mercy on this man and paid the price for his care. He showed compassion on not just someone who he would have been expected to but someone whom he might have even considered an enemy but certainly not a friend.

The minister delivering the message at this funeral talked about how this was also a picture of Christ’s love for us, taking mercy on our pain, and paying the price of our sin for us. He talked about how my friend was always one willing to stop what he was doing and help someone else. In this time of sadness, I am propelled to grow in grace by watching for those hurting and serve them in a loving, sacrificial and gracious way. And, I am compelled to pursue others more.

Lastly, these lives gone too soon were beautiful examples of courage in the face of disease, of the warmth of a smile and a kind word even for those people who are on the outside of one’s close circle, and of loving marriages, parenting, and friendships. They pursued life even in the face of struggles. Richie, Vicki, Munro, and Alison, you left imprints on all those who knew you. You will be missed but you leave us with gifts. Yes, you are gone too soon from this earth but you propel us to think differently. How can we pursue God, others and life more fully? How can we change our perspective and be more fully present in our lives? We pray that we live our lives in a way that will reflect the faith, love, kindness and courage you demonstrated on this earth. We pray for peace and comfort for all who knew you. We pray and will care for those whom you left behind. And, we pray with gratitude for how our lives were enriched with the gift of yours.

We run the journey knowing that there will always be sun and storms and that the sun sets and rises again. There are endings and beginnings but we carry them all within us. May we be present in it all living life in the abundance it is intended to be and in the hope of an eternal life free of pain and grief with full knowledge of the breadth of God’s love.