In the last eight days, I have had two daughters graduate, Mothers Day, and a birthday. And, in between those occasions, I went to a concert outing with music from my youth. As a woman at this stage of life, graduations, birthdays, Mother’s Days have a way of reminding me of my past and just how fleeting time is. Believe me, with all those happening in a short period of time, a million images like snapshots have passed through my thoughts and touched my heart. And at the same time, the words “kaleidoscope moments” kept coming to mind.
I really don’t know why. I can’t remember when I last saw a kaleidoscope. Being the introspective person that I am and believing those thoughts come up for a purpose, I googled it. There are 3 basic components to a kaleidoscope including mirrors, colored glass fragments and light. As the glass fragments tumble, the light reflects the color off the mirrors creating new color combinations and patterns. I even watched a video that showed the picture continually changing as colors and patterns fade while new ones emerge. The truth is the images are all connected. You may find some images more beautiful thsn others but you see that they are not separate.
It struck me- that is just how life is. As I was anticipating my daughters’ graduations, early treasured images came to mind. The first time I met my “daughter by choice”, she was seven years old and had just flown in from California where her mom lived. She bounced up pulling a baby blue roller bag and holding her American Girl doll. This image represented a life that she would lead going between locations throughout her childhood. It wasn’t something we would have chosen for her, but sometimes that’s just life. That image also represents a child who learned early and has become the most independent, resilient young woman I know. And even more, her life’s purpose among other things will be to help others be more independent and resilient in their lives. There was beauty to come from her challenging circumstances. That beauty is reflected on others.
The image of my other daughter was of a precious curly, blonde-headed three year old tromping down the steps with a determined expression wearing a pink tutu and a purple hornets cap turned backwards. She was a mix of beautiful feminity, individuality and strength of spirit. She had already been dealing with kidney issues since she was 6 weeks old. She suffered through many hospital stays and two kidney surgeries. Thankfully, the second surgery when she was in kindergarten finally relieved her of her pain. I saw her courage as she suffered, got poked and prodded, and even played softball with a catheter. She was sweet and tough. She was courageous and loved being a part of her team even when she wasn’t fully well. To this day, beauty and strength is exactly what she reflects. The richness of her character was in part born out of her pain.
I have thought about all my children in the past days. They have all experienced different challenges and losses. There have been tears and fearful moments. But that is part of who they are and the goodness they can reflect back to the world. Knowing that it is the light of God that allows for that reflection helps my faith and encourages me to let go and let God do his good work in their lives as he has done in mine. Walking through their individual challenges creates depth and heart. Their stories are and will continue to be beautiful not despite their challenges and obstacles but rather as a result of those vary situations.
And finally, here I am at another birthday. I have been through some really dark times and some very joyful times. Yes, there have been moments that have taken me to my knees. There are still times now when I find myself there again. And yet, it is all apart of who I am. God has sent people into my life at times to love and encourage me when I feared I could not take another step or be who my family needed me to be. And ultimately, the very pain that He allowed into my life was used in turn to support others who were experiencing similar challenges or pain. Light again reflects colorful ribbons of love to those who need it. I am just the mirror. And yet, we are all connected through that very love.
You see, those challenges were not just snapshots of life but kaleidoscope moments. The colored glass fragments are the people and experiences of our lives. We are the mirrors that reflect into world through the light of God. Every moment, stage, situation or choice, tear or smile is a part of something bigger- a beautiful, changing, colorful, and connected picture or journey. If we look at moments of time from our lives as simply snapshots of times to survive or mourn the loss of, we will miss the gift in what was or is emerging. Our kaleidoscope moments...
So, as my birthday passes and a new year has begun, I have taken a little time to look back so I can look forward to the next steps in anticipation of what is emerging. I can look back and see faces and situations. And yes, I have lost and gained, cried and laughed, felt weak and courageous. And, it has all been a gift. The colored pieces of glass are the faces that met mine in every situation, the words that encouraged me forward, the choices that required faith and courage, the prayers I didn’t even know were prayed on my behalf. I know that God has used each and every one to reflect the light of love into and through me. And, He is doing the same for you. Today, I see the beauty of the journey. I see the connectedness of family and friends, of those I have worked alongside of or served. They are all colored pieces used to reflect the light of love turning a moment into SO MUCH MORE- a lifetime of meaning and beauty...
