It's New Year's Eve- a time of celebration, a time of endings and beginnings, a time for change; and, usually a time of positive intent. And then, life resumes on Jan. 2nd and slowly we often ease back into a familiar place. A place that is more reactive to our circumstances than proactive. Sometimes a place that seems more comfortable even when it is born out of pain and discomfort. The truth is that although change can represent hopefulness, relief even success, real change is hard to achieve. It takes commitment, practice, accountability and most importantly a renewed mindset. Without a change in mindset, a new perspective, the chances of real change is minimal.
So here we sit at a milemarker as another year passes. And in terms of our journey, the reality is that today does not really mark an ending but a continuation to the journey that God has granted us. It is, however, a perfect time for reflection. A time to reflect with a fresh perspective. As we take a honest look back over the past year, our perspective can change the way we look at the past with a positive impact to our future. Acknowledging our blessings yields gratitude, challenges provide insight, pain develops empathy and trial builds faith. It truly comes down to your perspective.
As I reflect personally, I am not only taking an accounting of the year but asking myself the following questions:
1. Do I truly know that God made me with unique gifts that can reflect his character in this broken world? Can I accept my value as a child of God?
2. Do I trust that he is lovingly at work in and through me no matter the circumstances? Can I accept that God is always in control?
3. Is my focus more on who God wants me to be within my circumstances versus just reacting to the circumstance? Can I see through my circumstance to the hand of God?
4. Lastly, are my eyes open to the needs of others no matter the sacrifice or inconvenience? Am I willing to follow the example that Jesus set by loving those whom he puts in my path. Am I loving my enemy and my neighbor as myself?
I know if I can work through these questions, then I have a mindset that brings a fresh perspective to my next steps entering this new year. A perspective that helps me be more present and intentional. I have begun transitioning seasons of life. And at a time when in many ways my opportunities feel like they are shrinking , I am hanging on to Matthew 19:26 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible". I still have dreams. And, I know God's not done with me yet; just, as he's not done with you. So, I encourage you to ask some hard questions, build a fresh perspective, and know that this year holds a multitude of possibilities for all of us no matter the season of life! And, for my friends who have suffered great tragedy this year, I know that God is surrounding you and sending love through others. And, I pray that the peace that surpasses all understanding becomes real within your lives. And this year at a time when so much discord and brokenness exists, may we all look for ways to reflect the light of God through love and kindness. And, may we spread that love and kindness not only to those for whom it may come easy but for those who challenge us through our differences!
Below is a little prayer focused on being present and reflecting God's love. I wrote it on our trip to a Africa several years ago the night before we went into the villages. Seems appropriate to stepping into the unknown of a new year!
Happy New Year,
Sallie
Lord,
Today,
Give me hands to plant your garden.
Give me feet to walk the path you've laid.
Give me strength to join the suffering
Lord, give me love for those you died to save.
Give me eyes to "SEE" your children.
Give me ears to hear your call.
Give me words to touch the hurting.
Lord, may your Spirit heal us all.
Lord, Let my voice express your kindness.
Let my touch express your strength.
Let my laughter express your hope.
And Lord, may our hearts reflect your perfect love.
Amen.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Saturday, May 13, 2017
The Sacred Journey of sharing the burden
It is almost Mother’s Day. I have been thinking a lot about motherhood and the journey that I am on over the past few days. What a miraculous gift mothers have. We get to bring life into this world full of possibilities and unique gifts with which to touch others or contribute to the world around us. I saw a quote by Dr. Michael Beckwith- “Each of us are unique expressions of the Infinite.” And, mothers get to bring those precious unique expressions into this world!
I always say that our journeys are sacred and it is privilege to travel alongside others and be a part of their journey. The journey of motherhood is certainly sacred. From the minute our baby is born, we have hopes and dreams for our kids. Let’s face it those mental images start taking form as soon as we know this sweet child is growing inside. We want so much for our children. We begin to take on the role of the nurturer, teacher, and protector to make sure they thrive all the while holding on to the dreams we have for them. My guess is unless we are aware of a physical challenge early; we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the struggles that our child might endure in their lives. We focus on the hope…
Yes, there are many joyful moments like finding out you are having a child, feeling them move for the first time, their first words, steps, etc. You see them grow, learn, and express themselves. You begin to learn about their gifts, interests and personality. But, there are always days that are challenging. There are certainly physical demands in the early days but that doesn’t really prepare you for the demands of nurturing their mental and emotional wellbeing as they get older; or, protecting them and setting boundaries as they begin to explore independence. You learn that parenting is not for the faint of heart nor does every child respond the same. Mothers work very hard to balance the demands of their lives and give their babies the best life they can.
I watched a documentary recently on the opioid epidemic. I have a read a lot over time on this topic. Some do sadden me while others anger me. This time, I was simply stunned. Not because I really learned anything new but because most of the scenarios were the parents’ story. It hit so close to home. Some of us have children who struggle. Struggles beyond the normal disappointments, hurt feelings, or challenging classes. Struggles that are not situational but more systemic with sweeping impacts to the way our children engage with or are engaged by the world around them. Struggles that may be physical, emotional, or psychological. Struggles with the children they grow up around. Even, struggles that threaten their very lives. Struggles that we as their parents are not prepared to deal with and challenge us to our core. It is not a part of the dream we had for them.
One of the things that I have tried to do over the last few years is to give a face to the struggle. Galatians 6:2 says “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” We can’t bear another’s burden if we don’t understand their struggle. Honestly, I was thrown into this space of addiction. I wasn’t prepared to mother a child struggling with addiction. I have made mistakes. And, I have learned a lot along the way about myself, my child and the disease. I have friends and family who have children with Down syndrome, Autism, physical abnormalities, and a variety of mental health issues. Those mothers were faced with parenting children who have unique challenges. They weren’t prepared either and have engaged in the same battle to learn how to parent their own children based on their unique set of circumstances.
One thing mothers of children with struggles probably have in common is a desire to be understood. To have our children’s unique challenges be understood but in the context of all that they are. Because they are all still “a unique expression of the infinite”. They are more than their addiction or their depression or their autism. They are courageous. They have talents and senses of humor. They have possibilities and they are valuable.
Parenting a child suffering from addiction turns everything you know on its head. Nurturing looks different. Most of us begin to learn that hard lesson while still parenting in the midst of the crisis. It takes experience. It takes learning what works and doesn’t with this disease. Just as it takes courage on the part of our child to make their way to recovery, the same is true for the parent. It becomes a balance. I once referred to it as operating in the “both- and”. You have to learn to resolve questions in order to move forward. How do I both remember the picture of my precious, beautiful little boy and accept the reality of an addict struggling to live his live? How do I both show love for my son and demonstrate it in ways that do not enable his disease? How do I both give up “my” dreams for my child and not lose hope for his life.
We have to learn to express love and nurture differently. We must react to behavior but have compassion for the battle of the disease, set boundaries but not withhold love, fight for them but accept that this disease can be terminal, grieve for the life we envisioned for them and learn to have joy in the daily wins of the life that they have. We feel fear and anger for and at our children at times. And we feel guilt for that. We have to work to remove the burden of self-blame and give ourselves grace when we struggle to balance it all. We have to learn to live our lives without being fully absorbed in theirs. We live everyday knowing our children have the potential of relapse and death. It can be heartbreaking and “soul-wearying” to parent a child who is struggling. But, it is still a sacred journey no matter how sad, broken, or difficult it is at times. Perhaps, the biggest lesson and ultimately source of hope is that God is present in all the chaos. With His power, there can be peace, restoration, and joy. We need Him.
Mothers of struggling children also need the support of our family and friends. We love our children but there are days when the burden seems impossible to carry. There are days when our best hope for the day is just to survive. There are days when we worry that our other children are suffering because we can’t manage it all. There are days when we need YOU.
Carrying one another’s burdens…Yes, it requires that we engage in the struggle of others. I learned that from my mother who was always there for us growing up. She later devoted 4 years during a very difficult time in our lives to step in and help me care for my children. There was a sacred bond made stronger by her sacrifice. She stepped in to share the burden of my struggle. It was such a blessing. I encourage you to open your eyes to those mothers who need you to understand the struggle and share their burden. Here are a few things to consider as you do that based on my experience with a child who has struggled with addiction.
· We need your love not your judgement both for ourselves and our children. We often carry shame in secret and want our children to be loved not shunned. We make mistakes and are learning. We fear others’ judgement. We wear the weight of our shame and our children’s. We crave your love. We need to have others demonstrate to us what we need to do for ourselves.
· Please give us grace when we withdraw but stay close. There are times when the weight of it is so heavy that we can’t bear to talk about it. Don’t give up on us. We will let you in when we trust that you will stay by our side in the journey.
· Be willing to learn about our child’s challenge. You can ask us questions or send us articles. It shows us that you are stepping into the struggle. Just don’t assume that you understand exactly what our choices should be. It is usually not that black and while. There are consequences of choices that have to be weighed carefully.
· See the beauty and value in our children. Our children are more than their disease or struggle. Specifically, kids with addiction are not “bad” kids. They are sick. They are still valuable.
· Keep encouraging us to go do some fun things for ourselves. We yearn for normalcy. We yearn for laughter. We yearn for rest. And, we are not very good at it and often believe we don’t deserve it. Keep asking us.
· Stand in the gap- Pray for us, Send notes of hope and encouragement, and if you see a need- just offer to take care of it. We need prayer and words of encouragement. They are seeds of love even on the days we can’t hear it. And sometimes, we just need you to be God’s hands and feet. It can be hard for us to ask.
Sharing our burden is a demonstration of sacrificial love. We will recognize that for what it is. Your love becomes a sacred bond with us.
So, on this Mother’s Day if you have children who are thriving and have no significant struggles, you should get on your knees and thank God for that blessing. I am thankful today that I can say that. Then, I encourage you to think about the mothers in your life who have children who are struggling. Send them a note of encouragement. Call them and remind them that God chose them specifically to be the mother of that child. They are enough because HE is enough. For that matter- stop and send a note to a single mom you know, or those who have other struggles- health, finances, relationships, etc. We are all called to share one another’s burdens. It is meant to be a part of our Sacred Journey. Let’s honor this Mother’s Day by reaching out to mothers who need a little extra support.
Let me end by saying that I was blessed with an incredible Mom who has taught me by example about sacrificial love, forgiveness and faith. I am also thankful for the “village moms” who have stepped in the gap for me or the many who have encouraged me. You have shown love for me and my kids. You are my blessing. To the many moms of struggling kids who have reached out to me since I started the blog a few years ago- you have shared your heart, your tears, your challenges, and your joys. You have encouraged me, taught me, and inspired me as have your kids. You have shared your burdens and taken on mine. Your children and your friends are blessed to have you.
Happy Mother’s Day to you all! You, too, are “unique expressions of the Infinite”!!
I always say that our journeys are sacred and it is privilege to travel alongside others and be a part of their journey. The journey of motherhood is certainly sacred. From the minute our baby is born, we have hopes and dreams for our kids. Let’s face it those mental images start taking form as soon as we know this sweet child is growing inside. We want so much for our children. We begin to take on the role of the nurturer, teacher, and protector to make sure they thrive all the while holding on to the dreams we have for them. My guess is unless we are aware of a physical challenge early; we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the struggles that our child might endure in their lives. We focus on the hope…
Yes, there are many joyful moments like finding out you are having a child, feeling them move for the first time, their first words, steps, etc. You see them grow, learn, and express themselves. You begin to learn about their gifts, interests and personality. But, there are always days that are challenging. There are certainly physical demands in the early days but that doesn’t really prepare you for the demands of nurturing their mental and emotional wellbeing as they get older; or, protecting them and setting boundaries as they begin to explore independence. You learn that parenting is not for the faint of heart nor does every child respond the same. Mothers work very hard to balance the demands of their lives and give their babies the best life they can.
I watched a documentary recently on the opioid epidemic. I have a read a lot over time on this topic. Some do sadden me while others anger me. This time, I was simply stunned. Not because I really learned anything new but because most of the scenarios were the parents’ story. It hit so close to home. Some of us have children who struggle. Struggles beyond the normal disappointments, hurt feelings, or challenging classes. Struggles that are not situational but more systemic with sweeping impacts to the way our children engage with or are engaged by the world around them. Struggles that may be physical, emotional, or psychological. Struggles with the children they grow up around. Even, struggles that threaten their very lives. Struggles that we as their parents are not prepared to deal with and challenge us to our core. It is not a part of the dream we had for them.
One of the things that I have tried to do over the last few years is to give a face to the struggle. Galatians 6:2 says “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” We can’t bear another’s burden if we don’t understand their struggle. Honestly, I was thrown into this space of addiction. I wasn’t prepared to mother a child struggling with addiction. I have made mistakes. And, I have learned a lot along the way about myself, my child and the disease. I have friends and family who have children with Down syndrome, Autism, physical abnormalities, and a variety of mental health issues. Those mothers were faced with parenting children who have unique challenges. They weren’t prepared either and have engaged in the same battle to learn how to parent their own children based on their unique set of circumstances.
One thing mothers of children with struggles probably have in common is a desire to be understood. To have our children’s unique challenges be understood but in the context of all that they are. Because they are all still “a unique expression of the infinite”. They are more than their addiction or their depression or their autism. They are courageous. They have talents and senses of humor. They have possibilities and they are valuable.
Parenting a child suffering from addiction turns everything you know on its head. Nurturing looks different. Most of us begin to learn that hard lesson while still parenting in the midst of the crisis. It takes experience. It takes learning what works and doesn’t with this disease. Just as it takes courage on the part of our child to make their way to recovery, the same is true for the parent. It becomes a balance. I once referred to it as operating in the “both- and”. You have to learn to resolve questions in order to move forward. How do I both remember the picture of my precious, beautiful little boy and accept the reality of an addict struggling to live his live? How do I both show love for my son and demonstrate it in ways that do not enable his disease? How do I both give up “my” dreams for my child and not lose hope for his life.
We have to learn to express love and nurture differently. We must react to behavior but have compassion for the battle of the disease, set boundaries but not withhold love, fight for them but accept that this disease can be terminal, grieve for the life we envisioned for them and learn to have joy in the daily wins of the life that they have. We feel fear and anger for and at our children at times. And we feel guilt for that. We have to work to remove the burden of self-blame and give ourselves grace when we struggle to balance it all. We have to learn to live our lives without being fully absorbed in theirs. We live everyday knowing our children have the potential of relapse and death. It can be heartbreaking and “soul-wearying” to parent a child who is struggling. But, it is still a sacred journey no matter how sad, broken, or difficult it is at times. Perhaps, the biggest lesson and ultimately source of hope is that God is present in all the chaos. With His power, there can be peace, restoration, and joy. We need Him.
Mothers of struggling children also need the support of our family and friends. We love our children but there are days when the burden seems impossible to carry. There are days when our best hope for the day is just to survive. There are days when we worry that our other children are suffering because we can’t manage it all. There are days when we need YOU.
Carrying one another’s burdens…Yes, it requires that we engage in the struggle of others. I learned that from my mother who was always there for us growing up. She later devoted 4 years during a very difficult time in our lives to step in and help me care for my children. There was a sacred bond made stronger by her sacrifice. She stepped in to share the burden of my struggle. It was such a blessing. I encourage you to open your eyes to those mothers who need you to understand the struggle and share their burden. Here are a few things to consider as you do that based on my experience with a child who has struggled with addiction.
· We need your love not your judgement both for ourselves and our children. We often carry shame in secret and want our children to be loved not shunned. We make mistakes and are learning. We fear others’ judgement. We wear the weight of our shame and our children’s. We crave your love. We need to have others demonstrate to us what we need to do for ourselves.
· Please give us grace when we withdraw but stay close. There are times when the weight of it is so heavy that we can’t bear to talk about it. Don’t give up on us. We will let you in when we trust that you will stay by our side in the journey.
· Be willing to learn about our child’s challenge. You can ask us questions or send us articles. It shows us that you are stepping into the struggle. Just don’t assume that you understand exactly what our choices should be. It is usually not that black and while. There are consequences of choices that have to be weighed carefully.
· See the beauty and value in our children. Our children are more than their disease or struggle. Specifically, kids with addiction are not “bad” kids. They are sick. They are still valuable.
· Keep encouraging us to go do some fun things for ourselves. We yearn for normalcy. We yearn for laughter. We yearn for rest. And, we are not very good at it and often believe we don’t deserve it. Keep asking us.
· Stand in the gap- Pray for us, Send notes of hope and encouragement, and if you see a need- just offer to take care of it. We need prayer and words of encouragement. They are seeds of love even on the days we can’t hear it. And sometimes, we just need you to be God’s hands and feet. It can be hard for us to ask.
Sharing our burden is a demonstration of sacrificial love. We will recognize that for what it is. Your love becomes a sacred bond with us.
So, on this Mother’s Day if you have children who are thriving and have no significant struggles, you should get on your knees and thank God for that blessing. I am thankful today that I can say that. Then, I encourage you to think about the mothers in your life who have children who are struggling. Send them a note of encouragement. Call them and remind them that God chose them specifically to be the mother of that child. They are enough because HE is enough. For that matter- stop and send a note to a single mom you know, or those who have other struggles- health, finances, relationships, etc. We are all called to share one another’s burdens. It is meant to be a part of our Sacred Journey. Let’s honor this Mother’s Day by reaching out to mothers who need a little extra support.
Let me end by saying that I was blessed with an incredible Mom who has taught me by example about sacrificial love, forgiveness and faith. I am also thankful for the “village moms” who have stepped in the gap for me or the many who have encouraged me. You have shown love for me and my kids. You are my blessing. To the many moms of struggling kids who have reached out to me since I started the blog a few years ago- you have shared your heart, your tears, your challenges, and your joys. You have encouraged me, taught me, and inspired me as have your kids. You have shared your burdens and taken on mine. Your children and your friends are blessed to have you.
Happy Mother’s Day to you all! You, too, are “unique expressions of the Infinite”!!
Sunday, January 15, 2017
A new season is coming- It is my job to love and to live in faith and trust.
Well, here I am writing in my blog for the first time since June. It’s hard to believe that it is has been so long but I think God has been working quietly in me. You see I have been feeling that a new season was coming. The terrain of my journey may be changing. Maybe it’s because I have been aware that I am moving from my early 50s to my mid-50s. And, that is unsettling to me. Maybe it’s because this is year two of an empty nest. And, I have come to the realization that if I don’t move forward with what God has in store for me, I will dig my nails into my kids hanging on for dear life to their life. I just don’t think that’s a good thing nor do they, I’m sure! Maybe it’s because I have come through a decade of crisis with kids due to health and addiction. And gratefully, the waves of those crises have calmed for the moment allowing me to refocus. And maybe it’s because more recently, I have been faced with a sense that time on this earth is limited as others in the foreground and background of my life have passed on. Truthfully, it is all of it that has propelled me to think about how I want to live my life for the days I have left. That could be another 40 years like my aunt and my grandmother or it could be the next hour. But whatever time I have left, I want to be both intentional and present to what God intended for me and his hand in my life.
I have touched on this before but I usually write because I feel compelled to in that moment. Something comes to me in the shower or my commute to the office when I am alone in the car. There are times when I just wake to something stirring in my soul that needs to be explored. The genesis of this blog today is no different. On Friday morning, the first thing I thought about when I awoke was a series of phrases before I even stepped out of the bed.
It is not my job to:
• To assume someone’s motivation or their heart
• To judge someone’s actions
• To demand someone believes what I do
• To deny someone’s journey or ignore someone’s pain
• To place a value on someone’s life
• To assess the potential of another
• To ignore the fact that we are all God’s children
That IS NOT my job. But… it is my job to live my life according to my beliefs and in faith and trust. It is my job to love…
I wanted to go straight to the laptop and start writing but something inside said, “not yet”. I really wrestled with the waiting. You see, those phrases that I woke up with were convicting to me. You may not hear me say something overtly, at least I hope not, that suggests that I value someone less or demand that they believe what I do or judge others. But believe me, in the quiet of my heart, if I am honest I often do just perhaps more subtly than others or am not conscious of the real implications of my thoughts. Think for a moment about what you see on social media or how you react. Whether or not you have posted something explicitly or not, think about your thoughts and how quickly it is to go to a place where you assume, judge, demand, deny, place a value, assess or ignore. I am guessing if you are truthful to yourself, most of us go there at some point in the quiet of our mind and heart. It convicted me because in those actions you crucify someone rather than love them. Stop for a minute and think about Christ and how he was treated in the days before the cross. Those very things existed. I don’t know about you but that kind of takes my breath away. So, I knew I needed to write but followed the prompting to wait for a couple of days. I guess I really knew that God had more to say to me. And, he did. I will share those learnings. I think they were all designed to prepare me for my new season.
God spoke to me in a variety of ways. Last week, someone shared a post about a place called The Free Store of Charlotte. It caught my eye because it is in part meant to serve the less fortunate. I have been starting to engage with serving in our homeless populations so it intrigued me. This store provides free access to donated clothes and home goods. There is a sign that says “Give what you can, and take what you need.” But more importantly is that the Free Store is not just about meeting a physical need, it is about moving into relationship with others. As I read up on it, the following comment resonated with me about this place. “The really awesome thing about it (The Free Store), which gives it a deeply satisfying aspect, is that this is a place where very different kinds of people actually form mutually supportive friendships.” You see difference is valuable to both sides when you engage in relationship. We both have things to share and needs to fill. I think that is why we are specifically called to love our neighbors and our enemies. We are told that without love, what we say, what we give, even our faith means nothing. But love prevails. Love goes out and expands much like circles in the water when a pebble is thrown in. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth, always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. So, being in relationship with those outside my close circle or my comfort zone is what I am called to do. It is my job to love.
The next lesson was about possibility. I woke up this morning with this word on my mind. There are a number of verses that speak to the fact that all things are possible with God. I do think those are hopeful. Somehow in my mind though, it is limited to what I can imagine. But the verse that says, “For nothing is impossible with God” opens up to God’s power and his grace and mercy are not limited within our imagination. The angels said that to Mary as they acknowledged God’s call on her life to be the mother of our Savior. She was called to be a part of the ultimate story of redemption and grace. Her journey was not just limited to the wife of a poor carpenter in a small town. God used her in the greatest love story told and a story far beyond human possibility. So, how do we limit others value or potential by our thoughts or actions? How do we limit ourselves by not living out faith that believes that nothing is impossible with God? How am I limiting my own potential by not opening up this next season to the limitlessness of God? It is my job to have faith in that journey.
Lastly, God taught me about the importance of personal change versus change in circumstance. It is clear to me that our journey is about continual redemption until we get to perfection in heaven. So, I have learned and am still learning to value that journey. I recently sent a note with some verses to encourage a friend who is struggling. One of which was in Isaiah 43- “See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” This verse has been on my mind this week- a new thing, a new season… I have just setup a new office which is still in a bit of disarray. Friday, I looked over to see a notecard with a several verses on it. Believe it or not, they were all about being called to love. I don’t know where it came from but I know it was perfectly timed for me and reinforced the thoughts of earlier that morning.
Then lastly, I was watching a church service today that I watch on Sundays when I am not at mine. In fact, I also watched last Sunday given the weather. So, as I settled in to watch, I realized that they were replaying the same sermon as last week. Don’t get me wrong, it was good. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed as I was hoping to hear something new. But, God has a sense of humor. Perhaps, he made all the thousands of people watching this morning listen to it again because I couldn’t hear it the first time!! But this time, I heard the pastor say that we pray for a change in our outcome or a new season but we often don’t pray for a change in ourselves. It struck a chord with me. I have been praying for a clear picture of what this next season looks like. But perhaps, God is changing me on the inside so that I can actually be ready for what he has in store. If God is perfect and God is Love then maybe the more I learn to love, the more I am actually living out his plan for me. And just maybe, my season will evolve as I do one day at a time. And, the more I can reflect his character in a world that is hurting- my job, the ripples of my life can help to make a difference to a world that rather than loving is stuck assuming, judging, demanding, denying, valuing and assessing with perceptions based not on love but on human flaws, imperfections, and fears. A world not recognizing others true value as a child of God and perhaps not even their own value. Thankfully, there is redemption and hope when love is expressed. It is not only my job to love but to have faith and trust God with it all.
I am hopeful that God will teach me and use me in this next season. I have to be open to changing myself first to be used in whatever circumstance my journey leads me to. I have to be honest about my heart's motivation. Where love is absent in that, I have to change. No matter what season you are in- a season of growth or pain, a season of youth or aging, a season of addiction or recovery, a season of endings and beginnings, there is hope in the journey. There are relationships to be shared, possibilities to experienced, and growth to be had.
Thankfully, nothing is impossible with God. And yes, there’s hope in your journey. I know there is in mine so I’ll keep running the race! That is my job!!
I have touched on this before but I usually write because I feel compelled to in that moment. Something comes to me in the shower or my commute to the office when I am alone in the car. There are times when I just wake to something stirring in my soul that needs to be explored. The genesis of this blog today is no different. On Friday morning, the first thing I thought about when I awoke was a series of phrases before I even stepped out of the bed.
It is not my job to:
• To assume someone’s motivation or their heart
• To judge someone’s actions
• To demand someone believes what I do
• To deny someone’s journey or ignore someone’s pain
• To place a value on someone’s life
• To assess the potential of another
• To ignore the fact that we are all God’s children
That IS NOT my job. But… it is my job to live my life according to my beliefs and in faith and trust. It is my job to love…
I wanted to go straight to the laptop and start writing but something inside said, “not yet”. I really wrestled with the waiting. You see, those phrases that I woke up with were convicting to me. You may not hear me say something overtly, at least I hope not, that suggests that I value someone less or demand that they believe what I do or judge others. But believe me, in the quiet of my heart, if I am honest I often do just perhaps more subtly than others or am not conscious of the real implications of my thoughts. Think for a moment about what you see on social media or how you react. Whether or not you have posted something explicitly or not, think about your thoughts and how quickly it is to go to a place where you assume, judge, demand, deny, place a value, assess or ignore. I am guessing if you are truthful to yourself, most of us go there at some point in the quiet of our mind and heart. It convicted me because in those actions you crucify someone rather than love them. Stop for a minute and think about Christ and how he was treated in the days before the cross. Those very things existed. I don’t know about you but that kind of takes my breath away. So, I knew I needed to write but followed the prompting to wait for a couple of days. I guess I really knew that God had more to say to me. And, he did. I will share those learnings. I think they were all designed to prepare me for my new season.
God spoke to me in a variety of ways. Last week, someone shared a post about a place called The Free Store of Charlotte. It caught my eye because it is in part meant to serve the less fortunate. I have been starting to engage with serving in our homeless populations so it intrigued me. This store provides free access to donated clothes and home goods. There is a sign that says “Give what you can, and take what you need.” But more importantly is that the Free Store is not just about meeting a physical need, it is about moving into relationship with others. As I read up on it, the following comment resonated with me about this place. “The really awesome thing about it (The Free Store), which gives it a deeply satisfying aspect, is that this is a place where very different kinds of people actually form mutually supportive friendships.” You see difference is valuable to both sides when you engage in relationship. We both have things to share and needs to fill. I think that is why we are specifically called to love our neighbors and our enemies. We are told that without love, what we say, what we give, even our faith means nothing. But love prevails. Love goes out and expands much like circles in the water when a pebble is thrown in. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth, always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. So, being in relationship with those outside my close circle or my comfort zone is what I am called to do. It is my job to love.
The next lesson was about possibility. I woke up this morning with this word on my mind. There are a number of verses that speak to the fact that all things are possible with God. I do think those are hopeful. Somehow in my mind though, it is limited to what I can imagine. But the verse that says, “For nothing is impossible with God” opens up to God’s power and his grace and mercy are not limited within our imagination. The angels said that to Mary as they acknowledged God’s call on her life to be the mother of our Savior. She was called to be a part of the ultimate story of redemption and grace. Her journey was not just limited to the wife of a poor carpenter in a small town. God used her in the greatest love story told and a story far beyond human possibility. So, how do we limit others value or potential by our thoughts or actions? How do we limit ourselves by not living out faith that believes that nothing is impossible with God? How am I limiting my own potential by not opening up this next season to the limitlessness of God? It is my job to have faith in that journey.
Lastly, God taught me about the importance of personal change versus change in circumstance. It is clear to me that our journey is about continual redemption until we get to perfection in heaven. So, I have learned and am still learning to value that journey. I recently sent a note with some verses to encourage a friend who is struggling. One of which was in Isaiah 43- “See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” This verse has been on my mind this week- a new thing, a new season… I have just setup a new office which is still in a bit of disarray. Friday, I looked over to see a notecard with a several verses on it. Believe it or not, they were all about being called to love. I don’t know where it came from but I know it was perfectly timed for me and reinforced the thoughts of earlier that morning.
Then lastly, I was watching a church service today that I watch on Sundays when I am not at mine. In fact, I also watched last Sunday given the weather. So, as I settled in to watch, I realized that they were replaying the same sermon as last week. Don’t get me wrong, it was good. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed as I was hoping to hear something new. But, God has a sense of humor. Perhaps, he made all the thousands of people watching this morning listen to it again because I couldn’t hear it the first time!! But this time, I heard the pastor say that we pray for a change in our outcome or a new season but we often don’t pray for a change in ourselves. It struck a chord with me. I have been praying for a clear picture of what this next season looks like. But perhaps, God is changing me on the inside so that I can actually be ready for what he has in store. If God is perfect and God is Love then maybe the more I learn to love, the more I am actually living out his plan for me. And just maybe, my season will evolve as I do one day at a time. And, the more I can reflect his character in a world that is hurting- my job, the ripples of my life can help to make a difference to a world that rather than loving is stuck assuming, judging, demanding, denying, valuing and assessing with perceptions based not on love but on human flaws, imperfections, and fears. A world not recognizing others true value as a child of God and perhaps not even their own value. Thankfully, there is redemption and hope when love is expressed. It is not only my job to love but to have faith and trust God with it all.
I am hopeful that God will teach me and use me in this next season. I have to be open to changing myself first to be used in whatever circumstance my journey leads me to. I have to be honest about my heart's motivation. Where love is absent in that, I have to change. No matter what season you are in- a season of growth or pain, a season of youth or aging, a season of addiction or recovery, a season of endings and beginnings, there is hope in the journey. There are relationships to be shared, possibilities to experienced, and growth to be had.
Thankfully, nothing is impossible with God. And yes, there’s hope in your journey. I know there is in mine so I’ll keep running the race! That is my job!!
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