I have been off for two weeks and am now preparing to return to work, a schedule and a variety of responsibilities that have been on hold over the holidays. And as most of us do at this time, I have been doing some soul-searching about what I want my 2016 to be like- what changes I want to make.
Certainly, I would like to do better on the typical big 3. I definitely need to lose weight so will be starting that high protein, low sugar/carb diet again... If only I could manage to just keep that up 12 months of the year! The fall is a killer for me! I have started training again so that I can run my second half-marathon in New Orleans with my girlfriends in Feb. And certainly with 4 kids in college, managing my finances tightly is a must. Yes, I need those changes and they are hard to fully incorporate or they wouldn’t be on our resolution lists year after year. But this year what I am compelled to do is to focus less on the external circumstances and behavioral things but more about transforming the inside. I am taking a look at those things that are obstacles to loving relationships, my sense of peace, and my real trust in what the Lord is doing in my life. Truthfully, I still operate often out of fear rather than trust. That fear creates issues in a healthy expression of love. And, it is a destroyer of peace for sure.
I have this sense that my life is entering a new phase. Maybe it’s my 50-something age or the empty nest that began this fall. Regardless, for me it is kind of a foreboding feeling rather than a sense of excitement. Change can bring about excitement. But I have found it more often takes courage.
I am also keenly aware that I have friends who have come off a very difficult year. This life can be so painful. I have friends who are dealing with the death of a child, loss of a parent, Illness, relapses, financial challenges, and broken relationships. I am guessing that they are just trying to survive. They want relief from the pain. Sometimes change happens to us and just getting out of the bed and moving through the day takes courage.
I know that feeling well. A number of years ago, I was going through an extremely difficult time. I wrote a poem of sorts on New Year’s Day which I would like to share below:
And So, We Sit
As New Year’s Day draws to a close, I am trying to sort through the pain that I am feeling. I have ached before and did what I could to avoid it. This time I knew I had to sit with the ache. But sitting with the ache, what does that really mean? To me, it means putting your arms around it, experiencing it fully. It means not running.
And so, I sit.
I want to know that ache for to know that ache is to know me. The ache is found at my core and bubbles to the surface as anger sometimes but mostly fear and overwhelming sadness. At times, it has made me grab my chest and cry out and other times it hovers in the background. The ache itself feels heavy. There is a thickness that surrounds me and seems to slow or dull life around me.
Again, I sit.
It is my desire to acknowledge this part of me. I want to be authentic. I am passing from one year to the next. I have been wronged and that wound is still fresh. It is painful. But, I feel as though I need to spend time absorbing what the past year has dealt so that I can move through it to the next chapter in my story. To honor what God is doing in my life.
So, I sit and I honor.
And as I honor, I am reminded that God is good and I hope. It’s awesome that hope can lift you up even when you feel so weighed down. Truly out of weakness, comes strength. Out of the lowliest circumstances was born a baby to be our ultimate hope.
So, I sit and I hope.
I am God’s creation and he loves me. I will be courageous. I won’t run. I will savor my experiences and pain. I will trust God to stay by my side in the midst of the thickness, the darkness, and the pain.
And so, together We sit.
A new year can be exciting and a fresh start full of promise. But for many of us, the difficulties of the past year carry forward. It takes courage to embark on a new year. We may not feel we have choices but they are there. It takes courage to look for those. It often requires a need to look inside rather than at our circumstances. Our choices lie there. It takes courage to do that. And sometimes, we just can’t muster up the courage to move forward. Take heart, we don’t have to have courage. Our God has got it and he goes with us.
Dt 31: 6 tells us “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you.” Sit with Him. Share your tears, your challenges, your fears and honor what he is doing in your life. Look for the evidence of his hand in leading you forward. He goes before you and with you. He is your strength and your courage. He is your hope. He can bring the peace that surpasses understanding.
I want peace. I want to rely on him and have joy in circumstances regardless of what they are. I don't want to live a life rooted in fear but one of courage. And, I want to be transformed. If you want to join me involve him in your resolutions for 2016. That is what I intend to do. I must trust in the fact that He is a redemptive, transformative God who loves you and he loves me and is working it all to the good. The circumstances are never too big or too difficult for Him. Join me this year in sitting with him quietly, focusing more on my heart than my circumstances, and trusting where He leads me.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
I run today’s path with strength and courage- His not mine! Happy New Year!
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Sunday, November 15, 2015
"You are my community connected through our humanity but strengthened through the love and power of Christ.”
Last night, we went Uptown (Charlotte’s name for downtown) for a nice dinner and a concert. As we approached the city, we saw the high rises lit up across the night sky in red, white, and blue reflecting solidarity with France. It was not lost on me that here as we go about our lives in a similar fashion to those last Friday night in the streets of Paris, a community is now grieving and life will go on but never be quite the same. That simple gesture of lighting our buildings or the many Facebook posts or lighting candles in makeshift memorials is a way to say, “We are a community, a global community. Our humanity binds us.” In simple terms, we are showing light in the darkness and compassion and empathy for the loss.
And as Americans, we remember the grief associated with 9-11. The tragedy binds us to France in many ways. It strikes me how important this sense of understanding and concern is not only in the large scale tragedies but the pain and struggle that occur in our lives every day. As life goes on around you during a peiod that could be characterized as a dark night of the soul, seeing a sign of solidarity like lights against the dark sky brings connection. It alleviates isolation and brings community. And, it can bring hope to the broken hearted.
This concept of community has been on my mind in part because some of my communities are in transition. Those built on the softball field and your children’s friends shift when the children leave home. We certainly get to choose our communities and some of that comes naturally. But I do believe God gives us opportunities to engage with new communities- new neighbors. Sometimes those communities are not ones that we might naturally choose. Sometimes, we are thrust into communities because of our circumstances.
We are called to love our neighbors. Our “neighbors” is not a narrow definition of those who fit nicely in our close communities. When Christ was asked, “who is your neighbor?” He told a story of a man on the roadside who had been robbed, stripped and beaten. He was passed by those who should have been more likely to reach out and care for this man. Those in his community. Instead, they passed on the other side. Then along came an unlikely man who took pity on this victim and in a merciful way cared for this man in his pain. The Good Samaritan’s example demonstrates what it means to live out the call to love our neighbors. He was thrust in community with this bruised and battered man and showed him love. Love shown even when these two humans would not have been a natural community.
Looking at this from all sides, the injured, those who avoided and the one that loved, I can relate to all of it. There have certainly been times when life left me feeling battered and left on the side of the road. I have felt relief and gratitude when someone saw my pain and attended to my needs. Haven’t you had those days, when someone reached out to help and you felt a human touch of grace? God extends his grace, mercy, and love through others. I am also sad to say that there have been moments in my life when I have seen someone in need. And although I am called to love, I have stepped to the other side. It may have been a person who would not ordinarily have been in my life. Perhaps, I didn’t open my heart to this person whom God placed on my path that day, maybe I felt ill-equipped to deal with the issue, or overwhelmed or distracted by other responsibilities. Whatever the reason, I missed my call to love my neighbor. I am certainly saddened by that. Lastly, there have been moments when I heeded the call to reach out and care for another. And as I am sure you have experienced, I was given far more than I gave. That is the miracle that plays out each time we adhere to the call. Someone feels loved and cared for and someone feels humbled and blessed. We are connected in our humanity but more importantly we are connected through God’s love. We are all left with more hope than we started with.
One of my personal communities is Alanon. Alanon is built on the premise of providing a safe space for people who have a common bond of living or loving someone who has an addiction to come together to share their strength, hope and experience. During the past 3 months, I have not attended my Saturday meeting. Largely because of my schedule, family needs, illness, but there have been some opportunities to go when I chose to stay home. The reality is that there are pressures, concerns, and stressors in all aspects of my life. No big crisis but no easy space either. And so, it takes its toll. And, I have withdrawn. At a time that I felt a bit battered and needed that support, I did not go or reach out. Yesterday, as I returned to my meeting, I acknowledged that my absence was due in part to a need to hunker down and draw in tight. A couple of people came up to me afterwards letting me know that they understood the human need to isolate but were glad that I was back. The word isolate has hung in my mind. Isolation, unless it refers to a communicable disease, is not a positive way to deal with struggles. It in fact increases anxiety or depression. I just saw today a friend post a message begging people who are struggling with depression to reach out for help after attending a young man’s memorial service. I see isolation all the time with family members who are struggling with the addiction of their loved one. Their isolation grows, struggles are hidden in the dark and their pain grows. So, I encourage those who feel isolated to reach out but i understand how difficult that can be. I encourage who see someone who is isolated to also step forward and reach out.
You see- we were made for relationship. We were made to thrive in communities rooted in faith and love. We were made to gain strength through the power of God’s healing as his love, grace and mercy is made real through others. Christ came to this earth for our salvation. His human manifestation also gave us a picture of love demonstrated here on this earth. He then left us here with the call to love our neighbors. He told us that those who are poor in spirit and mourn are blessed and will be comforted. He also says that merciful will be shown mercy. We are connected through our relationships and through God’s love.
I encourage you today to think about your communities. In your struggles, do you isolate yourself? If so, why? Do you need to find a safe place of understanding and support? Are you afraid to show your weakness? Are you conscious of who God is placing in your life and the potential new communities that surround you?
We live in a broken world that needs healing. We experience darkness and need the light. We falter under the weight of our burdens and need mercy. But, we have hope. For those today who are experiencing the dark night of the soul, hang on to the fact that there is nothing too broken that can’t be healed. Darkness cannot overcome light. Christ promised that he will provide rest for those who are burdened and weary. Reach out to your communities. You can be blessed if you open yourself up to be loved.
God can use any one of us to love the hurting. We are not to be overcome by the pain and the evil of this world. We are to overcome that pain and evil through love and goodness. God will offer us opportunities within our communities to do just that. But it starts one interaction at a time, one community at a time, and one day at a time. For me, I guess my prayer is to open my eyes to see who God places in my path, open my hands to reach out to help carry the burden, and open my heart to connect with their need and show love. Perhaps, there will be those reading this who will join me. Doing that might just be that light against the backdrop of dark sky that says to a hurting person, “you are my community connected through our humanity but strengthened through the love and power of Christ.” And that brings hope to the hurting.
So, today I will pray for healing in France and for a world where we can experience God's grace in our communities.
And as Americans, we remember the grief associated with 9-11. The tragedy binds us to France in many ways. It strikes me how important this sense of understanding and concern is not only in the large scale tragedies but the pain and struggle that occur in our lives every day. As life goes on around you during a peiod that could be characterized as a dark night of the soul, seeing a sign of solidarity like lights against the dark sky brings connection. It alleviates isolation and brings community. And, it can bring hope to the broken hearted.
This concept of community has been on my mind in part because some of my communities are in transition. Those built on the softball field and your children’s friends shift when the children leave home. We certainly get to choose our communities and some of that comes naturally. But I do believe God gives us opportunities to engage with new communities- new neighbors. Sometimes those communities are not ones that we might naturally choose. Sometimes, we are thrust into communities because of our circumstances.
We are called to love our neighbors. Our “neighbors” is not a narrow definition of those who fit nicely in our close communities. When Christ was asked, “who is your neighbor?” He told a story of a man on the roadside who had been robbed, stripped and beaten. He was passed by those who should have been more likely to reach out and care for this man. Those in his community. Instead, they passed on the other side. Then along came an unlikely man who took pity on this victim and in a merciful way cared for this man in his pain. The Good Samaritan’s example demonstrates what it means to live out the call to love our neighbors. He was thrust in community with this bruised and battered man and showed him love. Love shown even when these two humans would not have been a natural community.
Looking at this from all sides, the injured, those who avoided and the one that loved, I can relate to all of it. There have certainly been times when life left me feeling battered and left on the side of the road. I have felt relief and gratitude when someone saw my pain and attended to my needs. Haven’t you had those days, when someone reached out to help and you felt a human touch of grace? God extends his grace, mercy, and love through others. I am also sad to say that there have been moments in my life when I have seen someone in need. And although I am called to love, I have stepped to the other side. It may have been a person who would not ordinarily have been in my life. Perhaps, I didn’t open my heart to this person whom God placed on my path that day, maybe I felt ill-equipped to deal with the issue, or overwhelmed or distracted by other responsibilities. Whatever the reason, I missed my call to love my neighbor. I am certainly saddened by that. Lastly, there have been moments when I heeded the call to reach out and care for another. And as I am sure you have experienced, I was given far more than I gave. That is the miracle that plays out each time we adhere to the call. Someone feels loved and cared for and someone feels humbled and blessed. We are connected in our humanity but more importantly we are connected through God’s love. We are all left with more hope than we started with.
One of my personal communities is Alanon. Alanon is built on the premise of providing a safe space for people who have a common bond of living or loving someone who has an addiction to come together to share their strength, hope and experience. During the past 3 months, I have not attended my Saturday meeting. Largely because of my schedule, family needs, illness, but there have been some opportunities to go when I chose to stay home. The reality is that there are pressures, concerns, and stressors in all aspects of my life. No big crisis but no easy space either. And so, it takes its toll. And, I have withdrawn. At a time that I felt a bit battered and needed that support, I did not go or reach out. Yesterday, as I returned to my meeting, I acknowledged that my absence was due in part to a need to hunker down and draw in tight. A couple of people came up to me afterwards letting me know that they understood the human need to isolate but were glad that I was back. The word isolate has hung in my mind. Isolation, unless it refers to a communicable disease, is not a positive way to deal with struggles. It in fact increases anxiety or depression. I just saw today a friend post a message begging people who are struggling with depression to reach out for help after attending a young man’s memorial service. I see isolation all the time with family members who are struggling with the addiction of their loved one. Their isolation grows, struggles are hidden in the dark and their pain grows. So, I encourage those who feel isolated to reach out but i understand how difficult that can be. I encourage who see someone who is isolated to also step forward and reach out.
You see- we were made for relationship. We were made to thrive in communities rooted in faith and love. We were made to gain strength through the power of God’s healing as his love, grace and mercy is made real through others. Christ came to this earth for our salvation. His human manifestation also gave us a picture of love demonstrated here on this earth. He then left us here with the call to love our neighbors. He told us that those who are poor in spirit and mourn are blessed and will be comforted. He also says that merciful will be shown mercy. We are connected through our relationships and through God’s love.
I encourage you today to think about your communities. In your struggles, do you isolate yourself? If so, why? Do you need to find a safe place of understanding and support? Are you afraid to show your weakness? Are you conscious of who God is placing in your life and the potential new communities that surround you?
We live in a broken world that needs healing. We experience darkness and need the light. We falter under the weight of our burdens and need mercy. But, we have hope. For those today who are experiencing the dark night of the soul, hang on to the fact that there is nothing too broken that can’t be healed. Darkness cannot overcome light. Christ promised that he will provide rest for those who are burdened and weary. Reach out to your communities. You can be blessed if you open yourself up to be loved.
God can use any one of us to love the hurting. We are not to be overcome by the pain and the evil of this world. We are to overcome that pain and evil through love and goodness. God will offer us opportunities within our communities to do just that. But it starts one interaction at a time, one community at a time, and one day at a time. For me, I guess my prayer is to open my eyes to see who God places in my path, open my hands to reach out to help carry the burden, and open my heart to connect with their need and show love. Perhaps, there will be those reading this who will join me. Doing that might just be that light against the backdrop of dark sky that says to a hurting person, “you are my community connected through our humanity but strengthened through the love and power of Christ.” And that brings hope to the hurting.
So, today I will pray for healing in France and for a world where we can experience God's grace in our communities.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Stop, See, and Reflect Love
There is a verse in Psalms 139:16 “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one came to be.” I reflect on this verse often. Our stories are ordained. God is involved every step connecting our paths to others, teaching us about his character, and showing us real love. When we stop, see and reflect that love back, we become His eyes, His hands, and His feet. I won’t speak for others but I know I lose sight of this. Today, I was reminded…
I woke up this morning and was greeted with texts, messages and stories that touched me and motivated me to write for a bit. Let me start with a story of a man named Al Gorman. For years, there was an older gentleman who I would see around the area that I lived in, riding a bike often with bags hanging on his handles. I suspected he might be homeless which was later confirmed. But his presence was a constant. My kids and I always noted when we saw him. At one point, I noticed that I had not seen him and later heard that he was in the hospital. This man had set up a tent camp in the woods not far from our home. But, if you paid attention, you would noticed that he clearly had some routines, he loved to read, and took care of himself somehow. His clothes were clean and he could be seen in the grocery store buying a few provisions. He was a part of our daily environment. But, I was concerned for him. I had seen him in the last year asking for money at an intersection. And once, I had been at that intersection and had given him some. He was well spoken and thanked me. And then, he disappeared. And, I noticed. I assumed that he had died. It made me sad that I had not stopped to talk to him at the grocery store or when he was sitting at the table outside. I knew a little of his story from one of my friends who ran into him in the woods one time close to his home. But, I had not stopped long enough to ask him myself.
And then, a couple of weeks ago, I heard his story and learned his name, Al Gorman. This man was a veteran. He was a professional and had been a teacher. He had been a Cub Scout leader. He loved books. I am not totally clear about how he ended up homeless. But in February, he had been able to work with Urban Ministries and found a home in a different part of town. Sadly, he was killed on his bike on Sept 13 as he was headed to the laundromat. He had a story. There have been a number of articles in the paper as his story unfolded. His body was not claimed and friends have been working to raise money to pay for a funeral. There was a night ride established in his honor by other cyclists who have come to know him in his new neighborhood. This morning there was an article being shared from the paper that in fact Al Gorman will be buried with full military honors in a military cemetery not far from Charlotte. Al Gorman’s life impacted others. It impacted mine. Many people have shared the various articles. They took note of him in their daily lives. His life had value no matter the struggles. And quite frankly, I am sad that I did not follow my heart and stop to reach out- to take a moment to talk and to hear his story. I will take the lesson of Al Gorman into my heart. We are surrounded by people who have stories. They have struggles. They may need support. And, we are meant to be the eyes, hands and feet of Christ. We are meant to see, to stop and to love.
I also saw the image of the Pope stopping to get out and bless a disabled child. It struck me that the simple act of seeing and stopping not only impacted this child and this family but touches all those who were there and saw it and even those of us who are seeing the coverage. This simple of act of reaching out showed an open act of love and the value of every life. We are surrounded by conflict in society. Often success is defined differently as a focus on the individual and evidenced through personal accomplishment. Differences or disabilities are pitied. Judgement is enacted on perceived failures. And, life is lived expecting or hoping that the government or someone else will be there to support the needs of those who have needs. It is easier to ignore, keep our focus on a limited community, and intentionally reserve our love for those we choose. But people with needs are more than their needs. They have stories and their stories have value. We are called to love them. That is the story of Christ- giving his life away to heal ours. I am reminded of the story of the woman at the well. He engaged with her when cultural protocol would not have supported that for a variety of reasons. He acknowledged her story and her failures. And he told her who he was. He showed her love. She then went back to her village and told the story and many believed. This story of love and relationship provide hope to many others. We are all a part of God’s bigger story.
I think today of my family’s story. I have relied on that verse in Psalms. As hard as days have been, our story is ordained. It is Holy as God is in it even in the mess. He has not let go of me or my family. He has held me through others who have been his eyes, his hands and his feet. When things get hard, my experience is that often we put up walls. We don’t feel seen and for that matter sometimes we don’t want to be seen. But, when someone does, stops and extends love and support, what a relief when we can share a burden if even for a moment. Honestly, that is why my family has been so open about our struggles. I know we have been judged at times. But, I have seen how God has provided healing for us but also provided a place to stop and engage in other families' stories and extend love. God cares for us through each other. And, love begets love.
I had a friend post a note on Facebook recently asking others to join him in anonymously doing acts of kindness. I believe this world needs love expressed one outreach at a time. Join me in thinking about what we can do to create space in our lives to truly see who God places in our paths, stop for a moment even when it is inconvenient or scary to hear their story, and extend love and kindness. Let’s be conscious of our call to God’s eyes, his hands and his feet.
Thank you God for teaching me through the life of Al Gorman, my son, and the many others you have placed in my life. May my eyes be opened to the others and their stories with whom you place in my future. And may you teach me more about your love by using me to love others. Amen.
I woke up this morning and was greeted with texts, messages and stories that touched me and motivated me to write for a bit. Let me start with a story of a man named Al Gorman. For years, there was an older gentleman who I would see around the area that I lived in, riding a bike often with bags hanging on his handles. I suspected he might be homeless which was later confirmed. But his presence was a constant. My kids and I always noted when we saw him. At one point, I noticed that I had not seen him and later heard that he was in the hospital. This man had set up a tent camp in the woods not far from our home. But, if you paid attention, you would noticed that he clearly had some routines, he loved to read, and took care of himself somehow. His clothes were clean and he could be seen in the grocery store buying a few provisions. He was a part of our daily environment. But, I was concerned for him. I had seen him in the last year asking for money at an intersection. And once, I had been at that intersection and had given him some. He was well spoken and thanked me. And then, he disappeared. And, I noticed. I assumed that he had died. It made me sad that I had not stopped to talk to him at the grocery store or when he was sitting at the table outside. I knew a little of his story from one of my friends who ran into him in the woods one time close to his home. But, I had not stopped long enough to ask him myself.
And then, a couple of weeks ago, I heard his story and learned his name, Al Gorman. This man was a veteran. He was a professional and had been a teacher. He had been a Cub Scout leader. He loved books. I am not totally clear about how he ended up homeless. But in February, he had been able to work with Urban Ministries and found a home in a different part of town. Sadly, he was killed on his bike on Sept 13 as he was headed to the laundromat. He had a story. There have been a number of articles in the paper as his story unfolded. His body was not claimed and friends have been working to raise money to pay for a funeral. There was a night ride established in his honor by other cyclists who have come to know him in his new neighborhood. This morning there was an article being shared from the paper that in fact Al Gorman will be buried with full military honors in a military cemetery not far from Charlotte. Al Gorman’s life impacted others. It impacted mine. Many people have shared the various articles. They took note of him in their daily lives. His life had value no matter the struggles. And quite frankly, I am sad that I did not follow my heart and stop to reach out- to take a moment to talk and to hear his story. I will take the lesson of Al Gorman into my heart. We are surrounded by people who have stories. They have struggles. They may need support. And, we are meant to be the eyes, hands and feet of Christ. We are meant to see, to stop and to love.
I also saw the image of the Pope stopping to get out and bless a disabled child. It struck me that the simple act of seeing and stopping not only impacted this child and this family but touches all those who were there and saw it and even those of us who are seeing the coverage. This simple of act of reaching out showed an open act of love and the value of every life. We are surrounded by conflict in society. Often success is defined differently as a focus on the individual and evidenced through personal accomplishment. Differences or disabilities are pitied. Judgement is enacted on perceived failures. And, life is lived expecting or hoping that the government or someone else will be there to support the needs of those who have needs. It is easier to ignore, keep our focus on a limited community, and intentionally reserve our love for those we choose. But people with needs are more than their needs. They have stories and their stories have value. We are called to love them. That is the story of Christ- giving his life away to heal ours. I am reminded of the story of the woman at the well. He engaged with her when cultural protocol would not have supported that for a variety of reasons. He acknowledged her story and her failures. And he told her who he was. He showed her love. She then went back to her village and told the story and many believed. This story of love and relationship provide hope to many others. We are all a part of God’s bigger story.
I think today of my family’s story. I have relied on that verse in Psalms. As hard as days have been, our story is ordained. It is Holy as God is in it even in the mess. He has not let go of me or my family. He has held me through others who have been his eyes, his hands and his feet. When things get hard, my experience is that often we put up walls. We don’t feel seen and for that matter sometimes we don’t want to be seen. But, when someone does, stops and extends love and support, what a relief when we can share a burden if even for a moment. Honestly, that is why my family has been so open about our struggles. I know we have been judged at times. But, I have seen how God has provided healing for us but also provided a place to stop and engage in other families' stories and extend love. God cares for us through each other. And, love begets love.
I had a friend post a note on Facebook recently asking others to join him in anonymously doing acts of kindness. I believe this world needs love expressed one outreach at a time. Join me in thinking about what we can do to create space in our lives to truly see who God places in our paths, stop for a moment even when it is inconvenient or scary to hear their story, and extend love and kindness. Let’s be conscious of our call to God’s eyes, his hands and his feet.
Thank you God for teaching me through the life of Al Gorman, my son, and the many others you have placed in my life. May my eyes be opened to the others and their stories with whom you place in my future. And may you teach me more about your love by using me to love others. Amen.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
There is Power in Love
There is Power in Love
“I forgive you."
“My family forgives you. We would like you to take this opportunity to repent. Confess. Give your life to one that matters the most- Christ.”
“We have no room for hate. We need to forgive.”
“We are a family that love built. There is no room for hate and we need to forgive.”
“But as we say in our Bible Study, we enjoyed you. May God have mercy on your soul.”
There was power and love in the words spoken by the families of those slain in Charleston this week.
And there is Power in Love because Love overcame Evil on the cross!
“Father forgive them , for they know not what they do.”
We were given an example of Love through Christ. Love is sacrifice. Love is forgiveness. Love is God. And God is Light in darkness. He is PRESENT. Even in the midst of pain and grief. His Light shines through.
I woke up Saturday morning feeling anxious, overwhelmed , and sad. Partly because it’s been a year of extended stress; not the crisis state of the prior two years, but ongoing day in and day out pressure. And as much as I try to focus on perspective and gratitude, I have struggled with anxiety and worry. It’s a time of transition- transition for my kids, my role as a mother, my contribution to the work world, finances, and on and on. And partly, because I was saddened by the events of the week.
I started work at 16 and have worked most of the time since then. 31 years later, I am especially aware of the importance of my choices, both the impact on me and the value to others as well as the expression of faith. And so, I have decisions to make. Transitions resulting in a new path to travel. My oldest son said to me not long ago. You still treat me as your addict son. You need to treat me as your son in recovery from addiction. There is a difference. Again, more transition. And as I watch my other son work through different challenges, I find I suffer from a parent form of PTSD. I think likely a struggle that many parents who have had kids suffering from addiction or other issues can relate to. I hear or even imagine a problem and react as if our lives hung in the balance. I expect the worst sometimes not a miracle- not mercy. And now I am sending the fourth and final child into the world. What challenges will she endure as she moves on to college- the next phase of her life. How do I move from caretaker to encourager? How do I not worry?
More transition. And I see transition in this world- it scares me. I see hatred, immorality masked as freedom, and the groanings of a desperate people reaching for prestige, material things, drugs, and self-gratification in order to ease their personal pain. My hope certainly lies in my eternal home. But, I need hope in the present reality. I am not afraid to die. I am confident that my home awaits. But, I am still afraid of what the next day may bring at times, the next phone call. And yet, I know fear is not of the Lord. I think back to the steps we focus on in Alanon. Our lives have become unmanageable- a recognition that we have very little control on what happens in our lives. Children develop addictions. Hate drives violence. Death comes unexpectedly. But, there is a power greater than ourselves who can restore us. Someone who we can turn to especially when darkness comes- God. He has a plan for our lives. We can focus on the Truth- His Truth. We can focus on the Love- His Love. We can stand on the promise that he has overcome evil. Darkness does not win. He is our Light.
The challenge is that sometimes the light is so faint that it seems the darkness may be winning. It’s like the twinkling of a faint star in the dark sky barely visible. And yet, if you focus you will see it. As I woke up Saturday feeling the anxiety, I strained to see the light. I reached for the promise of Christ. In reading my devotion, I was reminded that I must search for Christ. I must acknowledge how I am feeling and pray for guidance and strength. And, I prayed. I sat on my deck taking in the beauty he surrounds us with and I listened to the words of the families of Charleston. They were walking through valley of death , hatred, and loss. And yet, they loved. Those who don’t know the gospel are awestruck. How could they be so forgiving? And even, those of us who do know the gospel are still awestruck. What a beautiful Christ-like example. Miraculous really… Just as Christ asked the Father to forgive those who were a part of his death and who ridiculed him even in his final, painful hours, these families were doing the same thing for the man that took their loved ones from this home. The depth of their emotions was evident and yet their words were an expression of Love through their forgiveness. The power to express Love in such a way could only be God’s love shown through his children. In Charleston, where Love was there, Hatred (Evil) did not win. Where Forgiveness was there, divisiveness did not win. Unity prevailed. God was bold through the lives of those left behind and he leaves this nation awestruck. Light in the darkness.
So, today, I feel stronger. I have been reminded what Love came to do on this earth. Love is present no matter how chaotic or devastating life can be. Love transforms and we should be awestruck. Love is power and as children of God we have access to that Power. So, our challenge today is how can we be bold through the love of Christ? How can we show others grace, forgiveness, mercy? I encourage you to join me and look for ways this week to reach out to others who may be different, who may have hurt us, or who need to be reminded that Light can be found even in the darkness.
Yes, thank you for the reminder. We are a house built by LOVE- there is no room for hatred. There is no need for fear. Light has overcome the Darkness. God is PRESENT.
Just as those gathered to worship and learn about the God they loved last Wednesday, I take with me the lessons and beauty of their forgiveness. And, I run today in the love and grace expressed in the wake of this tragedy.
“I forgive you."
“My family forgives you. We would like you to take this opportunity to repent. Confess. Give your life to one that matters the most- Christ.”
“We have no room for hate. We need to forgive.”
“We are a family that love built. There is no room for hate and we need to forgive.”
“But as we say in our Bible Study, we enjoyed you. May God have mercy on your soul.”
There was power and love in the words spoken by the families of those slain in Charleston this week.
And there is Power in Love because Love overcame Evil on the cross!
“Father forgive them , for they know not what they do.”
We were given an example of Love through Christ. Love is sacrifice. Love is forgiveness. Love is God. And God is Light in darkness. He is PRESENT. Even in the midst of pain and grief. His Light shines through.
I woke up Saturday morning feeling anxious, overwhelmed , and sad. Partly because it’s been a year of extended stress; not the crisis state of the prior two years, but ongoing day in and day out pressure. And as much as I try to focus on perspective and gratitude, I have struggled with anxiety and worry. It’s a time of transition- transition for my kids, my role as a mother, my contribution to the work world, finances, and on and on. And partly, because I was saddened by the events of the week.
I started work at 16 and have worked most of the time since then. 31 years later, I am especially aware of the importance of my choices, both the impact on me and the value to others as well as the expression of faith. And so, I have decisions to make. Transitions resulting in a new path to travel. My oldest son said to me not long ago. You still treat me as your addict son. You need to treat me as your son in recovery from addiction. There is a difference. Again, more transition. And as I watch my other son work through different challenges, I find I suffer from a parent form of PTSD. I think likely a struggle that many parents who have had kids suffering from addiction or other issues can relate to. I hear or even imagine a problem and react as if our lives hung in the balance. I expect the worst sometimes not a miracle- not mercy. And now I am sending the fourth and final child into the world. What challenges will she endure as she moves on to college- the next phase of her life. How do I move from caretaker to encourager? How do I not worry?
More transition. And I see transition in this world- it scares me. I see hatred, immorality masked as freedom, and the groanings of a desperate people reaching for prestige, material things, drugs, and self-gratification in order to ease their personal pain. My hope certainly lies in my eternal home. But, I need hope in the present reality. I am not afraid to die. I am confident that my home awaits. But, I am still afraid of what the next day may bring at times, the next phone call. And yet, I know fear is not of the Lord. I think back to the steps we focus on in Alanon. Our lives have become unmanageable- a recognition that we have very little control on what happens in our lives. Children develop addictions. Hate drives violence. Death comes unexpectedly. But, there is a power greater than ourselves who can restore us. Someone who we can turn to especially when darkness comes- God. He has a plan for our lives. We can focus on the Truth- His Truth. We can focus on the Love- His Love. We can stand on the promise that he has overcome evil. Darkness does not win. He is our Light.
The challenge is that sometimes the light is so faint that it seems the darkness may be winning. It’s like the twinkling of a faint star in the dark sky barely visible. And yet, if you focus you will see it. As I woke up Saturday feeling the anxiety, I strained to see the light. I reached for the promise of Christ. In reading my devotion, I was reminded that I must search for Christ. I must acknowledge how I am feeling and pray for guidance and strength. And, I prayed. I sat on my deck taking in the beauty he surrounds us with and I listened to the words of the families of Charleston. They were walking through valley of death , hatred, and loss. And yet, they loved. Those who don’t know the gospel are awestruck. How could they be so forgiving? And even, those of us who do know the gospel are still awestruck. What a beautiful Christ-like example. Miraculous really… Just as Christ asked the Father to forgive those who were a part of his death and who ridiculed him even in his final, painful hours, these families were doing the same thing for the man that took their loved ones from this home. The depth of their emotions was evident and yet their words were an expression of Love through their forgiveness. The power to express Love in such a way could only be God’s love shown through his children. In Charleston, where Love was there, Hatred (Evil) did not win. Where Forgiveness was there, divisiveness did not win. Unity prevailed. God was bold through the lives of those left behind and he leaves this nation awestruck. Light in the darkness.
So, today, I feel stronger. I have been reminded what Love came to do on this earth. Love is present no matter how chaotic or devastating life can be. Love transforms and we should be awestruck. Love is power and as children of God we have access to that Power. So, our challenge today is how can we be bold through the love of Christ? How can we show others grace, forgiveness, mercy? I encourage you to join me and look for ways this week to reach out to others who may be different, who may have hurt us, or who need to be reminded that Light can be found even in the darkness.
Yes, thank you for the reminder. We are a house built by LOVE- there is no room for hatred. There is no need for fear. Light has overcome the Darkness. God is PRESENT.
Just as those gathered to worship and learn about the God they loved last Wednesday, I take with me the lessons and beauty of their forgiveness. And, I run today in the love and grace expressed in the wake of this tragedy.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
from the darkness of lies to the light of the truth
It is good to write today. It is been awhile and my soul needs it. Writing is a place where I feel connected- connected to my heart, connected to God, and more connected to my relationships. You would think that I would prioritize it as it is my place of peace. So why not write? My life as you may have assessed over the past 6 months has been full of challenges. I had come off a year of seeing great growth and progress rising out of the ashes of disease and grief- progress in my life and progress in the lives of those who are closest to me. I felt and feel such gratitude for that time. And yet, I have let things separate me from what my heart needs over the past months. Surely, you can relate to those times when suddenly you lose your bearing a bit.
One thing is I certainly don’t want to go back to the ashes. And yet, as seasons often come and envelop us- obstacles, pain and grief come back in waves. And there you are again. For me, there have been challenges at work, loved ones struggling, health concerns, many deaths, grief, pain, and disappointment. Life has been hard. John 10:10a- “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”, rings true to me. I feel under attack. I have lost my peace and my joy. I have lost my focus on caring for myself. I have lost my trust in God’s plan for my kids. I have lost my ability to reflect the characteristics of a child of God- love, peace, joy…
I was just at a women’s retreat. One of the first things we had to do was to write the state of my soul. My words were:
Aching, weary, and yearning for rest, peace, and joy
Sadness
On the bitter edge of collapsing- feel like I am imploding, melting under the pressure I feel
Want to feel the truth and not be pulled into the darkness of the lie
And yet, I grasp for my God…
The sad thing is that after our session, we moved into a small group. I was with women I do not know and we were asked to read our statements. I felt so bad as most of the comments were about feeling full. And as we came around, then I have to drop the bomb in the room. So, much for reflecting God to my small group. One big fat downer! The Thief has definitely been about stealing and destroying in my life. And yet, I am certain that sharing these words with this group was absolutely and perfectly orchestrated by God. God is all about the heart and truth. And so, I tearfully and a bit embarrassed, opened up about my life and where I was. Which takes me to the second half of John 10:10b “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” I want more than anything to have life to the full…
We are also taught that Christ is the truth, life and light. His light shines in the darkness. So, it occurs to me that the darkness settles in when our focus is rooted in the opposite of truth- a lie. I have been thinking a lot about what lies have taken root and act as a thief stealing my joy and peace. Those lies can be quite subtle. I am quite sure that I have not come up with everything that has infiltrated my thinking but here are just a few:
1. I need to handle everything and handle it well- The fallacy in this is that I was created to be reliant on God’s power. I was not made to be perfectly complete short of reliance on him. Besides, he created all of us with unique passions and strengths. Everybody has a role to play. We were not intended to spend our time on every opportunity that we see along the way. Why load myself my down with that expectation. God provides through all of his children and is waiting to take the load that we have. He wants us to rely on him. He promises that out of weakness comes strength.
2. My children’s challenges are my responsibility or evidence of my failures- My children are adults who absolutely know where I stand on things and have been taught right from wrong as well as the fundamentals of faith in Christ. They are now on a path ordained by God. He is walking that path with them, teaching them as they go. Seeds of faith can be planted but faith is built through trials and learning reliance on Christ. I gave them foundation. Their faith is a personal relationship with Christ not merely accepting mine. Why load myself with that burden? God can transform anything to the greater good even my parenting mistakes. He will teach my children about relationship through their trials.
3. I do not have a choice but to persevere even if it is taking its toll on me- Our journey takes twists and turns on us. Sometimes it is thrust upon us and sometimes we have to step out in faith and take the turn ourselves. This shows in a number of areas in my life. I believe once I have committed to something I cannot choose to move in a different direction even when the current situation is harmful or my desires and heart or telling me to make a new choice. That belief is not the truth. I should be focused on what God intends to do and that is likely to change along the way. Sometimes, I actually allow myself to feel like a martyr but the reality is that I always have a choice. Why load myself with that suffering? God loves me and created me for something special on this earth- maybe not by the world’s standards but in a way that will bring me joy and peace.
I definitely have more work to do. More exploration of my heart. And, more reliance on God. He sent Christ to die for me and you and redeem us for himself. We have access to the Creator of this world. The veil of separation was torn and I have the privilege to step before God and give my burdens over, seek his wisdom, and rely on his strength as do you. My life was and can continue to be transformed. And yes, I want to feel the truth and not be pulled into the darkness of the lie. I want to feel his presence and live the live I was created to live. I want to live in the awareness of the miraculous.
God knows the pressure I am under and he knows yours. He knows the sadness that comes from losing 5 friends in the past couple of months and he knows your grief too. He is actively engaged in our lives and the lives of those we love. Just as he can work all things to the good for us, he is at work in the lives of our loved ones. If you are feeling a lack of joy and peace, why load yourself down with that loss and sadness. Join me and asking God to reveal the lies that are keeping us from it. Let us remember that the thief is not more powerful than God. We are not meant to be destroyed but to live life to the full. Although I feel that my joy and peace, faith trust and the ability to reflect Christ have been lost. That in itself is a lie. I have access to all of that as a Child of God. I have been redeemed already. All I need to do is focus on the truth and it will be restored.
So, join me on the path of grasping for God and seeking his truth in all areas of life. There we will find our joy and peace! God promised that and he is always trustworthy!
One thing is I certainly don’t want to go back to the ashes. And yet, as seasons often come and envelop us- obstacles, pain and grief come back in waves. And there you are again. For me, there have been challenges at work, loved ones struggling, health concerns, many deaths, grief, pain, and disappointment. Life has been hard. John 10:10a- “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy”, rings true to me. I feel under attack. I have lost my peace and my joy. I have lost my focus on caring for myself. I have lost my trust in God’s plan for my kids. I have lost my ability to reflect the characteristics of a child of God- love, peace, joy…
I was just at a women’s retreat. One of the first things we had to do was to write the state of my soul. My words were:
Aching, weary, and yearning for rest, peace, and joy
Sadness
On the bitter edge of collapsing- feel like I am imploding, melting under the pressure I feel
Want to feel the truth and not be pulled into the darkness of the lie
And yet, I grasp for my God…
The sad thing is that after our session, we moved into a small group. I was with women I do not know and we were asked to read our statements. I felt so bad as most of the comments were about feeling full. And as we came around, then I have to drop the bomb in the room. So, much for reflecting God to my small group. One big fat downer! The Thief has definitely been about stealing and destroying in my life. And yet, I am certain that sharing these words with this group was absolutely and perfectly orchestrated by God. God is all about the heart and truth. And so, I tearfully and a bit embarrassed, opened up about my life and where I was. Which takes me to the second half of John 10:10b “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” I want more than anything to have life to the full…
We are also taught that Christ is the truth, life and light. His light shines in the darkness. So, it occurs to me that the darkness settles in when our focus is rooted in the opposite of truth- a lie. I have been thinking a lot about what lies have taken root and act as a thief stealing my joy and peace. Those lies can be quite subtle. I am quite sure that I have not come up with everything that has infiltrated my thinking but here are just a few:
1. I need to handle everything and handle it well- The fallacy in this is that I was created to be reliant on God’s power. I was not made to be perfectly complete short of reliance on him. Besides, he created all of us with unique passions and strengths. Everybody has a role to play. We were not intended to spend our time on every opportunity that we see along the way. Why load myself my down with that expectation. God provides through all of his children and is waiting to take the load that we have. He wants us to rely on him. He promises that out of weakness comes strength.
2. My children’s challenges are my responsibility or evidence of my failures- My children are adults who absolutely know where I stand on things and have been taught right from wrong as well as the fundamentals of faith in Christ. They are now on a path ordained by God. He is walking that path with them, teaching them as they go. Seeds of faith can be planted but faith is built through trials and learning reliance on Christ. I gave them foundation. Their faith is a personal relationship with Christ not merely accepting mine. Why load myself with that burden? God can transform anything to the greater good even my parenting mistakes. He will teach my children about relationship through their trials.
3. I do not have a choice but to persevere even if it is taking its toll on me- Our journey takes twists and turns on us. Sometimes it is thrust upon us and sometimes we have to step out in faith and take the turn ourselves. This shows in a number of areas in my life. I believe once I have committed to something I cannot choose to move in a different direction even when the current situation is harmful or my desires and heart or telling me to make a new choice. That belief is not the truth. I should be focused on what God intends to do and that is likely to change along the way. Sometimes, I actually allow myself to feel like a martyr but the reality is that I always have a choice. Why load myself with that suffering? God loves me and created me for something special on this earth- maybe not by the world’s standards but in a way that will bring me joy and peace.
I definitely have more work to do. More exploration of my heart. And, more reliance on God. He sent Christ to die for me and you and redeem us for himself. We have access to the Creator of this world. The veil of separation was torn and I have the privilege to step before God and give my burdens over, seek his wisdom, and rely on his strength as do you. My life was and can continue to be transformed. And yes, I want to feel the truth and not be pulled into the darkness of the lie. I want to feel his presence and live the live I was created to live. I want to live in the awareness of the miraculous.
God knows the pressure I am under and he knows yours. He knows the sadness that comes from losing 5 friends in the past couple of months and he knows your grief too. He is actively engaged in our lives and the lives of those we love. Just as he can work all things to the good for us, he is at work in the lives of our loved ones. If you are feeling a lack of joy and peace, why load yourself down with that loss and sadness. Join me and asking God to reveal the lies that are keeping us from it. Let us remember that the thief is not more powerful than God. We are not meant to be destroyed but to live life to the full. Although I feel that my joy and peace, faith trust and the ability to reflect Christ have been lost. That in itself is a lie. I have access to all of that as a Child of God. I have been redeemed already. All I need to do is focus on the truth and it will be restored.
So, join me on the path of grasping for God and seeking his truth in all areas of life. There we will find our joy and peace! God promised that and he is always trustworthy!
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Gone too soon...
I have a friend who is adopting a sweet baby girl. It is a new beginning, a new life and a new family formed. In celebration for her role as a mother, we were gathering some “words of wisdom” to share with her. One of the things I often say to young mothers is to remember that it is all a phase, just a point in time. If you get so focused on the sleepless nights, terrible two’s, moody pre-teens, you will not only wear yourself out but miss the blessings that occur at the same time. And if you don’t appreciate the good phases and stay really present in those times, the cuddles with a baby who is not yet mobile, the robust hugs of a 6 year old, the moments when a teenager opens up while driving to the next event will pass quickly. Those special moments of life gone too soon.
I once drove home from Florida after a trip with my friends. It was a wonderful trip that ended in a extended journey home that included sun, storms, and sunsets. I hated to leave the beach that day but feeling blessed to have been with my friends. But during the trip home , as I left Florida and moved into Alabama, a dangerous front moved in with tornado warnings, wind, and rain. In the driving rain, it was scary but I finally did pass through it. I was safe and relieved but delayed. A little while later as I approached home, because of the delay, I got to see and enjoy a beautiful sunset. It was a journey that day which really reflected life. There are times of sun and of storms, blessings and sadness, fear and relief. Things end in sunsets and they begin again in sunrises. That is life here on this earth. The truth is even in the stress of the storm, the weather rolling in was beautiful in its own way and the earth was being fed. I was tired after an extended trip but got to just enjoy the sunset as I drove home. Life has layers that stretch us as humans. Our perspective really drives our experience.
It is human nature to have a plan on how we believe things should happen. We operate with the perspective that things should come in a certain order and a certain way. Children shouldn’t pass away before their parents. Parents shouldn’t leave their children before their lives have really taken off as adults. And kind, loving, faithful people should not leave this earth in their 50s. We don’t often choose hard paths for growth, we get propelled into them. This world is a broken world full of pain,disease, and grief. Relationships break, kids struggle with addiction, and people die. The truth is we learn the most and our character gets developed through the hard times. But, boy does it come with a lot of pain…
In the past week, there have been 3 people from different areas of my life, church, work, and my neighborhood all in their 50s, who passed away. 3 in a week and 4 this year… How does that happen? Why does that happen? It doesn’t seem right. All of these people were wonderfully kind, loving people. You can read the comments that streamed in on Facebook to see what an example of love and kindness they displayed for their spouses, children, friends and others who came across their paths. A ready smile, a word of encouragement, a willingness to serve, an example of faith… children still at home, grandchildren about to be born, dreams left to experience. It’s just not time. Not on our time anyway. They are gone too soon.
I was talking to my oldest about how sad I was. He said to me if we truly knew what heaven was like, wouldn’t it be easier to celebrate a rebirth into our eternal life. Our perspective is so limited. He’s right. That’s true about all aspects of God’s power, character and love for us. I don’t know how people who cannot rely on their faith navigate struggles and tragedies. But even with faith, although I do find peace in knowing that God is still in control even with life feels just the opposite and comfort from believing that he is present in the pain, I know that my level of understanding of what that really means is still so limited. The depth of my trust is therefore limited. One of the comments passed along about one of my friends as a favorite quote was “you can’t trust someone you don’t know”. In this time of sadness, I am propelled to grow in trust more by knowing the breadth and depth of God’s love and his character better. I am compelled to pursue God more.
In the funeral services of one, the minister used the parable of the Good Samaritan as a basis for the message. When Christ was asked by a spiritual leader, “what must I do to inherent eternal life.” He answered “Love your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and, love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus went on to describe the concept of loving your neighbor. He talked about a man beaten and left for dead by the side of the road. Both a priest and a Levite passed by the man and did nothing to help. The Samaritan who represented a group of people who were despised, considered impure and treated as such stopped, took mercy on this man and paid the price for his care. He showed compassion on not just someone who he would have been expected to but someone whom he might have even considered an enemy but certainly not a friend.
The minister delivering the message at this funeral talked about how this was also a picture of Christ’s love for us, taking mercy on our pain, and paying the price of our sin for us. He talked about how my friend was always one willing to stop what he was doing and help someone else. In this time of sadness, I am propelled to grow in grace by watching for those hurting and serve them in a loving, sacrificial and gracious way. And, I am compelled to pursue others more.
Lastly, these lives gone too soon were beautiful examples of courage in the face of disease, of the warmth of a smile and a kind word even for those people who are on the outside of one’s close circle, and of loving marriages, parenting, and friendships. They pursued life even in the face of struggles. Richie, Vicki, Munro, and Alison, you left imprints on all those who knew you. You will be missed but you leave us with gifts. Yes, you are gone too soon from this earth but you propel us to think differently. How can we pursue God, others and life more fully? How can we change our perspective and be more fully present in our lives? We pray that we live our lives in a way that will reflect the faith, love, kindness and courage you demonstrated on this earth. We pray for peace and comfort for all who knew you. We pray and will care for those whom you left behind. And, we pray with gratitude for how our lives were enriched with the gift of yours.
We run the journey knowing that there will always be sun and storms and that the sun sets and rises again. There are endings and beginnings but we carry them all within us. May we be present in it all living life in the abundance it is intended to be and in the hope of an eternal life free of pain and grief with full knowledge of the breadth of God’s love.
I once drove home from Florida after a trip with my friends. It was a wonderful trip that ended in a extended journey home that included sun, storms, and sunsets. I hated to leave the beach that day but feeling blessed to have been with my friends. But during the trip home , as I left Florida and moved into Alabama, a dangerous front moved in with tornado warnings, wind, and rain. In the driving rain, it was scary but I finally did pass through it. I was safe and relieved but delayed. A little while later as I approached home, because of the delay, I got to see and enjoy a beautiful sunset. It was a journey that day which really reflected life. There are times of sun and of storms, blessings and sadness, fear and relief. Things end in sunsets and they begin again in sunrises. That is life here on this earth. The truth is even in the stress of the storm, the weather rolling in was beautiful in its own way and the earth was being fed. I was tired after an extended trip but got to just enjoy the sunset as I drove home. Life has layers that stretch us as humans. Our perspective really drives our experience.
It is human nature to have a plan on how we believe things should happen. We operate with the perspective that things should come in a certain order and a certain way. Children shouldn’t pass away before their parents. Parents shouldn’t leave their children before their lives have really taken off as adults. And kind, loving, faithful people should not leave this earth in their 50s. We don’t often choose hard paths for growth, we get propelled into them. This world is a broken world full of pain,disease, and grief. Relationships break, kids struggle with addiction, and people die. The truth is we learn the most and our character gets developed through the hard times. But, boy does it come with a lot of pain…
In the past week, there have been 3 people from different areas of my life, church, work, and my neighborhood all in their 50s, who passed away. 3 in a week and 4 this year… How does that happen? Why does that happen? It doesn’t seem right. All of these people were wonderfully kind, loving people. You can read the comments that streamed in on Facebook to see what an example of love and kindness they displayed for their spouses, children, friends and others who came across their paths. A ready smile, a word of encouragement, a willingness to serve, an example of faith… children still at home, grandchildren about to be born, dreams left to experience. It’s just not time. Not on our time anyway. They are gone too soon.
I was talking to my oldest about how sad I was. He said to me if we truly knew what heaven was like, wouldn’t it be easier to celebrate a rebirth into our eternal life. Our perspective is so limited. He’s right. That’s true about all aspects of God’s power, character and love for us. I don’t know how people who cannot rely on their faith navigate struggles and tragedies. But even with faith, although I do find peace in knowing that God is still in control even with life feels just the opposite and comfort from believing that he is present in the pain, I know that my level of understanding of what that really means is still so limited. The depth of my trust is therefore limited. One of the comments passed along about one of my friends as a favorite quote was “you can’t trust someone you don’t know”. In this time of sadness, I am propelled to grow in trust more by knowing the breadth and depth of God’s love and his character better. I am compelled to pursue God more.
In the funeral services of one, the minister used the parable of the Good Samaritan as a basis for the message. When Christ was asked by a spiritual leader, “what must I do to inherent eternal life.” He answered “Love your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and, love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus went on to describe the concept of loving your neighbor. He talked about a man beaten and left for dead by the side of the road. Both a priest and a Levite passed by the man and did nothing to help. The Samaritan who represented a group of people who were despised, considered impure and treated as such stopped, took mercy on this man and paid the price for his care. He showed compassion on not just someone who he would have been expected to but someone whom he might have even considered an enemy but certainly not a friend.
The minister delivering the message at this funeral talked about how this was also a picture of Christ’s love for us, taking mercy on our pain, and paying the price of our sin for us. He talked about how my friend was always one willing to stop what he was doing and help someone else. In this time of sadness, I am propelled to grow in grace by watching for those hurting and serve them in a loving, sacrificial and gracious way. And, I am compelled to pursue others more.
Lastly, these lives gone too soon were beautiful examples of courage in the face of disease, of the warmth of a smile and a kind word even for those people who are on the outside of one’s close circle, and of loving marriages, parenting, and friendships. They pursued life even in the face of struggles. Richie, Vicki, Munro, and Alison, you left imprints on all those who knew you. You will be missed but you leave us with gifts. Yes, you are gone too soon from this earth but you propel us to think differently. How can we pursue God, others and life more fully? How can we change our perspective and be more fully present in our lives? We pray that we live our lives in a way that will reflect the faith, love, kindness and courage you demonstrated on this earth. We pray for peace and comfort for all who knew you. We pray and will care for those whom you left behind. And, we pray with gratitude for how our lives were enriched with the gift of yours.
We run the journey knowing that there will always be sun and storms and that the sun sets and rises again. There are endings and beginnings but we carry them all within us. May we be present in it all living life in the abundance it is intended to be and in the hope of an eternal life free of pain and grief with full knowledge of the breadth of God’s love.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Spring is coming- let the Light shine!
Spring is coming!!! Daylight savings is here. And best yet, we have had two sunny, warmish days which is really welcome after a cold and very wet winter. I don’t know about you but when the sun reappears, I feel lighter in spirit. And, I felt that way this weekend - more than I have in a while. It sort of reminded me of how I used to feel when school was finally over and summer was here. The feeling of freedom was such a wonderful feeling- like a burden has been lifted if only for a sunny afternoon.
I heard somebody talking this weekend about what life used to be like living with an active addict. Each day was “wonderment”- wondering how bad today was meant to be. Would it top yesterday in terms of difficulties. He was carrying a burden and each day he expected to fill that bag that he carried on his back with yet another fear, hurt, or frustration. His thinking was skewed. He only saw the challenges of the day and hunkered down to survive them. He was a slave to his circumstances. I have been there. In fact, I felt a bit like that over the first few months dreading when I see a name come up on my phone or when I turn on my computer each morning. How bad is this going to be? At one point will I get a break? For me, I then try to wrap that feeling up and hide it away so you won’t see it. That makes it even harder. But what does help me is that I know the truth. I am learning to apply it to my life as a real act of faith.
When you are a parent of an addict, you can feel batted around at times. My child wasn’t a bad child and yet there are times that I still wonder why he makes certain choices. I find that I sometimes forget the truth which is that I am dealing with a child who has a chronic disease. There are times when I wonder could I have done something different that would have circumvented this struggle before it got started. Then I remember I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it and I can’t cure it. Or, I just focus on the setback and not the progress. I lose sight that it is progress not perfection that is the focus of our journey. That is true for my son and true for me. But, the deceit of some of my thinking makes the burden greater like a long, dark winter. Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
Just like after a long winter of surviving, God brings the spring and the sun back to shine and make things new. The sun’s light brings warmth and life back to all that is around it just like truth brings light into the dark, cold corners of our soul. If you start watching, you’ll hear the songbirds, then see the tiny buds on the barren trees, and finally the blooms come. God is creating one miracle at a time. When we focus on the Truth, God’s lights shines into one corner at a time. He is working things towards good, the great reveal, the fragrant blooms of our lives. It is the progress that is the miracle, the unfolding of his beauty being planted in our lives.
So, here are a few truths to hang on to in the times of a long winter season.
We don’t have to carry the burden of sin. Christ came to give us freedom from being a slave to sin. Freedom from being a slave to the brokenness of this world. Freedom from being a slave to the brokenness of those we love. We are not slaves to our burdens. Gal 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
No matter the darkness, we can seek the light. God sent his son to bring light to this world. So, no matter how dark some days are, the Light is there if we shift our focus. Christ has been engaged in our lives before we were on this earth. He did not intend for us to live in the darkness of our burdens. John 1:4 “Through Christ all things were made and in him is life. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.”
Lastly, each day even if we are faced with new challenges or ramifications of past decisions, even if we feel that we cannot possibly move forward under the weight of it, we were given a promise of grace, compassion and faithfulness. God has got it even as we carry it so why not hand it over and accept his love. He is enough. Lam 3:22-24 “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
We are not consumed by our burdens. In fact, our burdens when placed in the proper perspective allow us to enter our world each day in a way that displays Christ’s light to others who are a slave to their burdens and do not know the freedom the comes from knowing the Truth. What if we all woke up each day in "wonderment"- wondering who we were meant to share the light compassion and love with? The light that comes from knowing the God has got it. He can carry our burdens. Go to him, all who are weary and burdened and he will give you rest!
I heard somebody talking this weekend about what life used to be like living with an active addict. Each day was “wonderment”- wondering how bad today was meant to be. Would it top yesterday in terms of difficulties. He was carrying a burden and each day he expected to fill that bag that he carried on his back with yet another fear, hurt, or frustration. His thinking was skewed. He only saw the challenges of the day and hunkered down to survive them. He was a slave to his circumstances. I have been there. In fact, I felt a bit like that over the first few months dreading when I see a name come up on my phone or when I turn on my computer each morning. How bad is this going to be? At one point will I get a break? For me, I then try to wrap that feeling up and hide it away so you won’t see it. That makes it even harder. But what does help me is that I know the truth. I am learning to apply it to my life as a real act of faith.
When you are a parent of an addict, you can feel batted around at times. My child wasn’t a bad child and yet there are times that I still wonder why he makes certain choices. I find that I sometimes forget the truth which is that I am dealing with a child who has a chronic disease. There are times when I wonder could I have done something different that would have circumvented this struggle before it got started. Then I remember I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it and I can’t cure it. Or, I just focus on the setback and not the progress. I lose sight that it is progress not perfection that is the focus of our journey. That is true for my son and true for me. But, the deceit of some of my thinking makes the burden greater like a long, dark winter. Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
Just like after a long winter of surviving, God brings the spring and the sun back to shine and make things new. The sun’s light brings warmth and life back to all that is around it just like truth brings light into the dark, cold corners of our soul. If you start watching, you’ll hear the songbirds, then see the tiny buds on the barren trees, and finally the blooms come. God is creating one miracle at a time. When we focus on the Truth, God’s lights shines into one corner at a time. He is working things towards good, the great reveal, the fragrant blooms of our lives. It is the progress that is the miracle, the unfolding of his beauty being planted in our lives.
So, here are a few truths to hang on to in the times of a long winter season.
We don’t have to carry the burden of sin. Christ came to give us freedom from being a slave to sin. Freedom from being a slave to the brokenness of this world. Freedom from being a slave to the brokenness of those we love. We are not slaves to our burdens. Gal 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
No matter the darkness, we can seek the light. God sent his son to bring light to this world. So, no matter how dark some days are, the Light is there if we shift our focus. Christ has been engaged in our lives before we were on this earth. He did not intend for us to live in the darkness of our burdens. John 1:4 “Through Christ all things were made and in him is life. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.”
Lastly, each day even if we are faced with new challenges or ramifications of past decisions, even if we feel that we cannot possibly move forward under the weight of it, we were given a promise of grace, compassion and faithfulness. God has got it even as we carry it so why not hand it over and accept his love. He is enough. Lam 3:22-24 “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
We are not consumed by our burdens. In fact, our burdens when placed in the proper perspective allow us to enter our world each day in a way that displays Christ’s light to others who are a slave to their burdens and do not know the freedom the comes from knowing the Truth. What if we all woke up each day in "wonderment"- wondering who we were meant to share the light compassion and love with? The light that comes from knowing the God has got it. He can carry our burdens. Go to him, all who are weary and burdened and he will give you rest!
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